Exploring How The Idea Of “Forever” Is Overrated

Scrolling through my Instagram feed I often notice a common theme - a group selfie of friends captioned 'best friends forever" or a young college going couple holding each other's hands with the caption "taken forever." It makes me wonder. Why do we emphasize so much on FOREVER? Why do we expect everything to last till the end? Why is the element of 'foreverness' given such importance? Since our childhood, we are trained to associate the notion of forever with pleasure and encouragement. The more secure future we have with someone, more secure we feel in their presence. Even in the case of love and relationships, most people judge a relationship by its length. We feel forever is the only thing that matters. The idea presented to us again by movies is that true love is indifferent of all the difficulties, and that it never, ever ends. And it propogates the idea that everything good lasts, period. And if it doesn't - then it's a failure.

Forever is neither a permanent place nor it is an incessant experience, the truth, however, is that forever is composed of earthly 'nows' which we cannot define clearly. Giving preference to the "forever" over the "now" is one of the main reasons why we stick and grapple in a dead relationship. Because sometimes things end and that doesn't mean the relationship was a failure or it didn't serve a vital purpose. And here's the thing, there's one real idealism in being commitment-phobic, but if we only take decisions on the basis of some image we have of ourselves 40 years down the line, then we are not living in real-time. And it’s hurting us. And we know it. It hurts because the promise of forever also associates itself with unrealistic expectations. These promises, mostly, do not get fulfilled. And when this happens, a void is left in our heart which makes us want to scream and we feel cheated. It often so happens that we go out with someone, only to write it off because we 'think' that it will not last. Or the other way around that we enter into a relationship thinking that this one will last till the very end but when it doesn't, we feel somewhere something went wrong.

Things change. And people leave. Life doesn't stop for anybody. Forever is an overrated-exquisite-sweet lie that has been implanted in our brain as a parameter of trustworthiness. It is an illusion. So tell me why should we live in those illusions? Why pile up all those lies and hollow promises? Why live in a pseudo-paradise that will break sooner or later? If we feel only the relationships which last forever are the ones successful then we are limiting our potential to love and be loved. It's not the abundance of the minutes that matter, all that matters is what we experience in those minutes. It's not about how long we live but how happy we live. “You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I’m grateful.” - Hazel Grace (The Fault in Our Stars). There's no point in worrying about our future which is uncertain. Rather we should invest those thoughts and energy in living the present to the fullest, with people who matter to us the most. The moment you're living right now will just be another story someday. We need to get over the idea that forever is the only thing that matters. All we should do is to take care and live the relationships we have as long as we have them. Forget about "forever". At least for "now".