Personal Evaluation: Learning From Struggles

Who am I?

Such a simple question to ask but such a profoundly tricky question to answer. Sometimes a person may feel that they have no purpose in life and don’t really know who they truly are. Discovering who you are just takes the time of sitting down without any distractions and thinking of the things that are most important to you in your life.

Who am I? Well, I am Mariah Allison Wilke. I am a person with different personalities, characteristics, and identities. I am a person that has gone through many experiences, good and bad, and someone of various relationships that have shaped me into the person I am today. To complete this personal evaluation, I will split my life into three categories: my aspirations, my beliefs, and my struggles that I have overcome.

What are my aspirations?

I will define my aspirations in two ways: personal and professional. My personal aspiration is to have a fulfilling life where, when I am 65 years old, retired, and looking back that I feel happy about the richness of it all. I want to live a life where I have been able to travel across the world and experience different kinds of people and cultures. A life full of learning and knowledge which I have used to makes other life’s better. A life where I hope to find a loving companion and give my parents the respect and comfort that they deserve. I want to achieve most of my dreams while simultaneously earning the respect of the people around me. But most of all, I want to be happy regardless of which path I decide to take and satisfied with the decisions I make. My two biggest professional aspirations are to have lifelong learning and to become an interior designer. As an artist and someone who loves decorating, I would love to see someone’s face as their visions of what they want their home to look like come true.

What are my beliefs?

I would consider myself a very spiritual person. My faith is something that is extremely important to me and something that I hold very close to my heart. Both my parents were raised as strong Christians and at an early age instilled religion into my life. It has been the foundation to which I have based all my morals and my relationships. However, it wasn’t until senior year of high school until I truly felt my place as a Christian. Growing up I always felt lost, like I had no true purpose in life. The choices I made and the friends I had were not meaningful and weren’t centered around anything important. It wasn’t until I decided one day to take a leap of faith, get out of my comfort zone, and join a church group for young adults. I was nervous and scared of being judged, but I soon found out that I was around people who cared and were there for me every step of the way. Everyone was so encouraging, and I was able to break that hard shell that I was stuck in. Today, I feel more independent as a Christian than I ever have before. Now, it feels less like my parent’s decision and more of my own choice. My faith defines my choices, my friends, my relationships, my future, and the person I am.

What are the greatest struggles that I’ve overcome?

In my life, I’ve seen myself having to face many struggles and obstacles put in my path meant to weigh me down. Even though it’s the most logical way of looking at it, that’s not how I see it. These obstacles have been placed in front of me to make me stronger. My family’s financial situation growing up wasn’t the easiest to handle. Not being able to have the things that the kids my age had was tough as a young child. However, I learned from my parents that giving up was not a choice in life. Even though it might get tough, you have to continue to fight for the things you want and work your hardest. Because of not having very much money, I learned to appreciate the little things in life and I grew stronger as a person. One of my other greatest struggles that I dealt with throughout my life was not knowing who my biological father was. I was raised from birth by my biological mother and my step dad. I always knew within my heart that I had a different dad from the rest of my siblings, but I was too afraid to bring it up in conversation. It wasn’t until the end of my senior year that my parents told me about my biological father. At the moment I was shocked to find out the kind of man he was and the reasons he was not in my life, but after a while none of that mattered. I realized that it didn’t matter who he was, because a true father is someone who raises you, teaches you, and is there for you in the biggest moments of your life and that he was not. I was raised by my step dad so he was my true dad, despite him being biologically tied to me or not. I believe that there’s a positive side to everything, even to tragedies. It’s the healthiest way to think because absolutely everything happens for a reason.

In the end, no matter what may be said about me, I know that I am somewhat of an abstract project. I continue to grow and evolve each day and consistently discover new factors that define who I am as a person. I know what I stand for. I know what I believe in. I love what I have grown into and the people in my life. However, they don’t create me or make me who I am, but they do help me define myself. My past experiences and choices whether they were good or bad don’t set who I will be in the future but rather add to my character and to the person I am. I believe that what I overcome in life, the hurdles that I jump over, the things I believe in, and my dreams for this life are what make me the person I am today.