Difference in Politeness Expression in Persian and British Cultures

In order to acquire the quantifiable date on Persian and British attitudes towards” politeness” through Persian and British cultures, it has been endeavored to utilize a questionnaire as an effective and easy instrument of data collection. The analyzed data in this paper has obtained via this questionnaire. This questionnaire included 7 descriptive and test questions were sent by email to 30 native British and 30 native Persian people who are living in London, England. 32 replies from Persian and 23 replies from British people came back. The age of respondents is from 20 -70 years old.

The first designed question deals with two qualitative and descriptive parts through which respondents are requested to define the politeness as a well polite person from his or her point of view. By comparing the answers of British and Persian people to the first question is indicated that both British and Persian have the same understanding and definition from polite behavior as well as polite person. Both these groups believe that politeness is behavior which is respectful and full considerate of feelings and needs of other individuals. They explain that polite behavior is displaying good manners towards other people. They also give the same explanations but in different words for a polite person as a person who is cultured and civilized and knows social etiquette very well.

In the second question, the respondents were asked to give an example of polite behavior, which impresses them as being polite. Results seem very interesting. British people have a great tendency to apologize. According to the answers, “I am sorry” is the sentence which is mostly applied among the British. For more elucidating occasions in which British obliged themselves to apologize, the respondents have pointed when they are interrupting someone, they are late to an appointment or even when they have booked a seat on a train or flight and somebody has occupied their place mistakenly. With scrutinizing the answers, this fact has appeared that “I am sorry” for British people is not per se as an apologizing but also as a polite behavioral method for making social interactions with other individuals in different ages and social classes. Some British respondents answer this question by mentioning another social etiquette as standing patiently in queues and taking their own correct turn.

Results show that considerable numbers of British respondents believe in standing in a queue without jumping it or pushing in in front of other people in a polite manner. Some British respondents speculate that they use phrases “please” and “thank you” in their daily conversations frequently because these phrases are manifestations of their politeness. They put emphasis on this fact that restating these phrases is facilitating and validating their social interactions. Some respondents think that covering mouth with the hand while yawning, coughing or sneezing is considered to be polite manner. Meanwhile, some others believe that shake handing while introducing and greeting is one polite manner. They insist that it will be polite if you keep someone’s hand for a short time and shake it two or three times with keeping eye contact and a pleasant smile on your face.

In the third question, the respondents were asked to give an example of impolite behavior, which impresses them as being impolite. Results are very interesting too. The British respondents have strongly emphasized that if someone wants to overstep their private limits by staring at them in public, it will be ultra-impolite behavior. Some others believe that talking in public with a loud sound is also an impolite manner. These results approve that the British respect their privacy and exceeding these strict boundaries are considered as an impolite behavior. In some answers, the British believe that people who blow their nose or spit out in public or people who burp after eating or drinking are impolite persons. In order to bring an example of impoliteness, some British respondents have referred to greeting etiquette. They mention that it will be impolite if someone greets all people with kisses. British people kiss only their own very close friends or relatives. As another example, there are some few answers in which asking about ladies’ age has been mentioned as an impolite manner. These respondents add to their explanations that from the British points of view there are 2 distinctive meanings for “woman” and “lady” titles. It will be impolite behavior if you ask about the age of women because this question implies that she is not a lady.

In the fourth and fifth questions, respondents are expected to estimate the politeness level of the British in very polite, fairly polite or not polite. By considering all answers prepared by the British, this result has been discovered that the British people think of themselves as very polite people. In question number six, the respondents are requested to state any other salient traits of the British that they could remember. In answer to this question, some have pointed to one British trait that is to open the door for other people and letting them go through first, without considering their age or gender. Some have mentioned that British men take their hat off when they are entering into indoor places. They have added that this manner shows the politeness of British men. Talking with British people about money, how much they earn, what their personal properties and fortune are or their financial situations are definitely considered as an impolite manner in British society. These answers show that British feel perfectly uncomfortable with proposing such private financial matters in conversations. Some respondents have mentioned chivalry trait as a British trait. They believe that chivalrous English men are ultra-polite gentlemen who carry a big heavy bag for women or offering their jacket to a lady in cold weather. A few respondents have also stated that talking with full month is considered as a very impolite manner.

In analyzing the questionnaires filled in by Persian people, the interesting and different results have acquired. In question one in which Persians are expected to define politeness as well polite person from their viewpoint, most Persian people have pointed to greatest respect to parents and grandparents as a polite behavior. The results show that older people in Persian culture gain a great deal of respect from their family and society. The respondents add these explanations to their answers that in the Persian language there are two different versions of “you “as formal and informal. When they are addressing someone at the same age or as a close friend, it is really usual to apply the friendly or informal version of “you”. When they are speaking with someone elder (parents as well as grandparents) or a person who is in higher status such as boss or teacher, culture Persian obliged them to apply the formal version of “you”. Other responses to this question show that a number of respondents deal with “respect” as a polite behavior in another word. They believe that when someone who is elder (parents or grandparents) or in higher status (teacher, boss, junior) is telling off, the polite manner is to avoid keeping straight eye contact and answering to the points immediately. Some Persian respondents have referred to this point that in Persian culture giving seat priority to elders, pregnant women and disabled individuals in the bus and subway is a polite manner. Some respondents have mentioned that sticking to the politeness system in Iran which has been known as “Taarof” is the most specific instance for polite manner between Persian families. According to additional explanations by respondents, “Taarof” is a collection of compliments; courtesy, frequent applying sweated sentences and good manners towards others. In other word; it is standing on ceremonies strictly. Some Persian think it will be a polite manner if someone arises when elders come into the room or teachers enters through the door. Some Persian people responded to this question with referring to the Persian polite greeting etiquette. When greeting, they are handshaking as well as three times kisses in order to show intimacy and deep friendship.

From some others’ perspectives, opening the door or keeping it open for elders as well as women in order to go through first has been mentioned as a common polite behavior. Some Persian respondents believe in Persian hospitality attribute. As a polite behavior, hosts do not start eating before the guests at lunch or dinner table. This attribute has been sated as one of the most important feature in Persian hospitality etiquette. In analyzing the answers given to the third question, there are some references to lying or even extending feet in front of the elders as an ultra-impolite behavior. One of the most salient results gained from the answers show that it is perfectly impolite to interrupt the elders are the person who is in higher status (parents, grandparents, teacher or boss ) because of some reasons such as answering to the cell phone or greeting or maybe running other conversation with others, when they are speaking to you. Of course, emergency cases have been absolutely excluded. From Persians’ point of view, walking ahead of elders is included in impolite manners. Some respondents have pointed to this point that talking with full mouth as well as slurping while having food has been considered as impolite manners.