A Light-Hearted Letter To My Future Daughter

Dear future daughter, I decided today that your name will be Ellen. Yesterday it was Zoe and tomorrow it might be Jade. Doesn't matter really, it's just something for the rest of the world to know you by. To me, you are Precious. Precious because you're a piece of my heart walking outside my body. I have written this letter so that someday when I'm old and my bones creak, when my mouth can no longer speak and tell you how much you mean to me, you can read this and remember. You existed in my heart long before you were conceived, and I couldn't wait to meet you. You're here now and there's a lot I want to tell you, some that I want to show you.

I've always loved dance as an art form, it's one of the things that fascinate me. And so it's not surprising that it's the first thing I'll introduce you too. I'll dance with you in my belly and when you're old enough to walk, ill dance with you in my arms. And when you begin to talk, I'll put you in dance classes and spend my free time sewing up costumes for you with shiny buttons, ribbons and lots of love. I'll try not to blind you with the flashes of my camera as you strut around doing your thing.

Yes, I'll be at every performance. Every time you're on a stage, I'll be the crazy lady in the audience yelling ''that's my baby!''. You might not even be as enthusiastic about this as I am but you'll do it anyway. Until you probably become an annoying teenager and object, ''Mommy, I don't want to dance anymore!'' If I close my eyes, I can see you pouting with your arms folded tightly across your budding bosom; even in your upset, defiant pose, you're so damn cute! I want to insist but at that moment I realize that this human who lived inside me, who has my flesh and blood, has a mind of her own. And so I back down because I want you to pursue your dreams. But let's get something straight here, you will be the best at whatever it is you do. So child, choose carefully. Because whatever you decide on, I'll make sure you're the best at it. Why? Because you can. In life, there's room at the top while the bottom is always crowded. So forward and upward is the only way to go.

While you're at it, don't run from the competition and never feel like you should get less of anything because you're female. You deserve just as much as any Joe and more if you work harder. Honestly, I don't care if you become a doctor, lawyer, engineer or whatever other professions the average Nigerian parent is obsessed with. I want you to be fulfilled and excel in whatever you do. So even if you decide you want to be a toilet cleaner, you're going to commit to learning that shit (no pun intended) until you become the best toilet cleaner the world ever saw. And whatever you do, whoever you become,

I love you, unconditionally. It's important that you never forget this, but it's more important that you love yourself. Darling, it's a mean world out there. You could be brighter than a thousand diamonds and not everyone will see it. Some people will see it and hate you for it. What I'm trying to say is that not everyone is going to like you and it's just the way the world is. So it matters that you love yourself enough, be your own biggest fan and don't let anybody bring you down. Now, if you look anything like me, you're stunning. But if you look like your daddy, err…that's OK too (chuckles). What you should know is that you're beautiful regardless of what the societal standard of beauty is. The world will tell you that to be beautiful, you have to be skinny, you have to be light-skinned, you need to have long hair. Bullshit! You are beautiful whether you're a size 8, or a 16. Whether your skin is black, white or 50 shades of grey. Whether your hair is kinky, curly or freaking straight.

I kinda hope you'll be the perfect lady like your momma and fuss over things like shaving your legs and perfectly shaped eyebrows but maybe you'll be a tomboy and not even know what a tweezer is. Whatever, just do YOU boo and let nobody put you in a box. People say that ''If life gives you lemons, make lemonades''. No, you NEVER have to take what you're given. You insist on what you want. So if life gives you lemons, and you want apples, leave the goddamn lemons for those who like lemonades and go plant an apple seed. Now, I'm going to talk a bit about boys. Yes, boys. The other human species that annoys us girls as kids, fascinate us as teenagers and enchants us as adults.

Someday, you'll meet a boy and fall in love and it'll be the most beautiful thing you'll ever experience. If you love like your momma, it'll be so deep and intense that your whole world will quake. And I hope it lasts, Oh honey I hope he loves you back 10 times over and treats you like the jewel that you are. But if he doesn't, if he's an idiot who can't spell ''irreplaceable'' then walk away. Wipe his last kiss from your mouth like cheap lipstick and dump his dumb ass. It will hurt, yes it will hurt because the harder you love, the deeper the cut. But you'll get over it. Remember when you were little and would go outside to play? A couple of times you fell, bruised your knees and came running to me crying. I wiped your tears, tended to your bruised knees and sent you right back out to play. Know why? because I wanted to teach you that in life you don't stop just because you fall. No, you get up, dust yourself and keep moving.

Except you're not a kid anymore and this time when you went out to play, you fell in love. And there are no bruises, it's your heart that's broken. I'm not sure how to fix this, how exactly does one bandage a broken heart? All I can say is time heals all wounds. It's a cliché but sorry that's all I got. Yes, your momma doesn't have all the answers. Do you know who has all the answers? God. He's there always, watching and waiting. I hope you don't keep him waiting. I hope you let him in because his grace is bigger and better than anything I can give you. I have written this so that someday when I'm old and my bones creak when my mouth can no longer speak and tell you how much you mean to me, you can read this and remember. As I come to the end of this, I want you to know how proud you have made me. You are my biggest accomplishment and watching you grow has been the delight of my life. A wise man once said ''True success is leaving the world a better place than you met it''. Someday I'll go away and leave you here, the world can thank me later.

Love always,

Mommy.

P.S: If you ever have a daughter, teach her all that I've taught you and maybe name her after me.