The Wedding Ceremony In Malaysian Culture

The wedding function in Malaysia transcend dissimilar cultural traditions consisting of indigenous culture, Hindu culture and Islamic traditions that collectively creates a colourful traditional Malay culture. A number of programs that culminate into the solemnization of a union between a man and a woman at a grand wedding ceremony is expediently categorized in three (3) major phases.

Phase one

Prior to the real wedding occasion, three key activities are carried out. (a) Merisik-the investigation; (b) Meminang-the approach by the family of the prospective husband to formalize the engagement process; and (c) Hantaran-the prospective in-laws send gifts and part of the amount of money called wang belanja for proposed wedding expenses referred to as wang belanja in which the man’s family give to the family of the girl’s to settled the costs incurred by the girl’s family. The payment of wang belanja is normally made in cash amounting to thousands ringgits based on agreements between the families. The money paid for expenses does not include that which is paid as dowry (mas kahwin) paid the prospective wife. The amount for the mas kahwin is most often determined by Islamic Religious Council in each of the state. However, an amount over and above the fixed official rate can be paid by the groom for the mas kahwin.

Phase Two

In phase two, the proper rites for marriage (akad nikah) and berinai, are carried out. Details observation of the marriage ceremony is discussed in the following section.

Phase Three

The third phase comprise of the berarak that entails the welcoming of the marriage procession from both the bride and groom. The couple are then provided with a decorated dias bersanding to sit on and are formally welcomed to the bride’s house (sambut menantu). As it can be noted, there are a few differences and similarities in the marriage ceremonies within Malaysia. However, this write-up simply addresses the commonest features that cut across the various multiracial communities in the country.

Merisik

As it is the custom of most communities around the world, a grown man at some point in his life would look out for a someone to start a family with. The approach is slightly different in some countries but the most conventional view say in Africa, particularly in Nigeria, is for a man to first approach a woman and seek her consent for a marriage. In Malaysia, the family of a man who is due for marriage is scout for a number of prospective wives from whom they can select the most suitable one. When a decision is made on the most appropriate candidate, the merisik of the assessment commences. The man's family will then select representatives to visit the prospective wife's family to further inquire on the character and the possibility of securing acceptance from the family and by extension, the lady in question. The merisik ceremony is not by any standard a form of proposal to the lady. Due considerations is given to the purpose and intentions of the man's representatives by the lady's family regarding the possibility of acceptance or otherwise. If no progress is made, the man's family proceeds on another search of a crop of new potential candidates known as meminang.

Once when the two families reach a consensus for the union to take place, the families commence arrangement for the engagement between the prospective bride and groom (meminang). Members of the man's family pay a second visit to the lady's family after receiving the substantive date and time for the visitation.

1. The confirmation sent to the man's family comprises of considerations relating to the agreed period for the meminang to take place;
2. The cost implications to be incurred clearly started in financial terms (wang belanja).
3. The number and categories of presents required for the ceremony;
4. The agreed period for the genuine nuptial feast to be effected;
5. The disciplinary measures required should any family in the agreement fail to comply with the terms.

All these issues are deliberated upon arrival of the man's family at the lady's home and a common ground is agreed on. Other matters addressed during this visit include:

1. The possible number of individuals expected to be included on the guest list to attend the ceremony;
2. How many gift items (dulang) that are required aside the cultural betel-leaf packs (tepak sirih).
3. The decision regarding the whether a portion of the money meant for ceremony expenses (belang) would be paid to the groom at the time of engagement ceremony (meminang).

Subsequently, the probable groom’s family will arrange the various objects to be presented to the prospective bride. Likewise on the side of the woman, souvenirs to the presented to the man are arranged. Normally, the future groom will send the following things to the prospective bride on the day engagement is conducted:

• A ring made of diamond or gold.
• A pack of betel-leaf (tepak sirih) fully containing betel leaves (sirih) and other condiments refer to as sirih meminang.
• A full pack of clothes.
• A Hair tie or wrap (kain tudung).
• Basket containing fruits or any other presents.
• A purse/shoulder bag or handbag.
• One pair of shoes.