The Effects of Sincerity on Our Lives
Whoever Sows Truth does not always Reap Confidence
Whoever usually sows truth, as amazing as it may seem, does not always receive confidence. When we talk about sincerity, we are undoubtedly facing a double-edged sword before which many feel uncomfortable and even threatened, because sometimes it is more comfortable to live in lies. The truth is, after all, that mirror, where not everyone wants to be reflected.
The subject is still curious, because while almost all of us react to the lie to see it as a type of aggression or a direct way to avoid reality, some people prefer a more aseptic treatment dominated by half truths rather than honesty ‘Healer.’
I will always choose to know the cruelest truth to live in the sweetest of lies, but I also know that not everyone is prepared for it. Because sincerity and honesty hurt, and sometimes, saying it out loud drives the majority…
Something that would be worth practicing on a day-to-day basis, rather than a ‘stark’ truth, is learning to never say the opposite of what we think. Only in this way will we take care of our emotional well-being and be consistent with our values and needs. We invite you to reflect on it.
The Effect of Truth and Honesty
In our daily lives, most of us make use of ‘white lies. ‘ We told a friend who looks good even if we see some light circles, we reassure our parents by telling them that we are fine, even if we have a cold that day. With this, we maintain a functional balance because they are situations that we describe as ‘low significance. ‘
Now, when the circumstances are different and these, also generate various problems of greater or lesser magnitude, we make use of honesty. However, there are those who do not even conceive of ‘white lies’ because for them, small lies ultimately generate great falsehoods, and falsehood is something that their personalities do not conceive.
It is here where many problems of coexistence usually appear, because whoever sows the truth on a day-to-day basis, is seen by others as that ‘oracle of Delphi’ that reveals everything, that strips everything and respects no one. Honesty is the attachment to our righteousness and dignity and because a half truth will always remain a whole lie no matter how much it is camouflaged.
The Truth will not set us Free but it will Help us to live Better
Imagine now those family gatherings where sometimes, we tend to keep silent about some inappropriate or offensive comment that certain relatives usually throw at each other. Far from supporting it more, we decided to raise our voice and tell the truth about what this behavior seems to us. It is very probable that they do not assume this reaction well, and even that they devote us a reproach, but to us said relief, it will certainly allow us to feel much better.
Who gets upset and angry when you reveal the truth to them, are those who prefer to live in lies. Although it is often said that the truth is nothing more than the personal perception of each, there are aspects that far from being neutral or harmless demand a reaction. They demand assertiveness and that we raise our voice to be honest, direct and above all, congruent with our beliefs. However. we must also be clear that there is a limit, and the limit is not to practice ‘sincericide.’
The Truth and its Essential Purposes
The truth should always have the purpose of improving our coexistence and favoring mutual respect. This implies an essential aspect to keep in mind: that the truth should never be used as a form of aggression or humiliation.
Within Buddhism, truth is conceived as a form of ‘enlightenment.’ Its theoretical framework is really useful in this context, because what is sought is above all to cultivate sincerity in everyday life as a form of shared wisdom. In turn, the conception that all of us must be prepared for changes, for everything that brings us life, whether good or bad, is transmitted. Assuming the truths is part of personal acceptance.
The truth must be able to digest and accept for later, generate change and knowledge. If we limit ourselves to makeup we do not generate anything, if we cover it up, all we do is feed the lie even more. Thus, it is necessary to offer the truth to others on their less aggressive or cruel side and without reaching ‘sincericide. ‘ Therefore, forms are important. (It’s not the same ‘I’ve stopped loving you’ that ‘I don’t know how I came to fall in love with you’)
To conclude, it is worth making a healthy use of that truth that hurts but always ends up healing, because those who limit themselves to inventing lies, first comfort and then kill. It is not appropriate.
The Thicker the Armor, the more Fragile the being that Inhabits it
Being a fragile person means having a special sensibility, which we protect by means of a shell, adding layers to each disappointment and frustrated feeling. Even the most sensitive person can become cold when they feel threatened by a situation they are not willing to go through. There are situations that all of us find difficult to face, assume and fit in such as abandonment, rejection, contempt, guilt, etc. In situations where we feel especially vulnerable we will make a withdrawal in order to protect ourselves. This is something fundamental to preserve our integrity.
The character and temperament of each person will influence their behavior in this type of situations that can cause great emotional pain. That is why there are those who are exposed to painful situations without protection, and with a certain tendency to masochism, until they are heavily bruised and injured.
On the other hand, other people remain cautious : when they anticipate a situation similar to that of some previous experience, they are able to put on barriers and become impervious, indifferent to any emotion or feeling.
“Without a doubt, your armor protects you from the person who wants to destroy you. But if you don’t let it fall, it will also isolate you from the only one who can love you. ”
Being Fragile does not Mean being Weak
Both types of people described above would be at different poles, although being dependent on their same fragility. Neither emptiness is a healthy option, nor is it entrenched to numb.
Fragility is commonly related and confused with weakness : being fragile tells me the intensity of my emotions, my sensitivity to experience my feelings and the difficulty I have to show myself as I am for fear of being hurt.
Being fragile I can be strong under the circumstances, moving forward and conquering my fears. However, I do not allow myself to be sensitive, although internally I am suffering, having a bad time and feeling lonely.
I want to appear strong by putting on my armor, making myself believe that it does not affect me, when the reality is that it affects me so much that I feel unable to bear it.
We are able to prove our strength when we continue to trust despite betrayals, when we move forward despite our fears and sadness, when we show our vulnerability and sensitivity to those who deserve it.
Showing me as I am
When we repress emotions, when we build walls before everything we feel, we allow them to see us only superficially. We even treat other people in the same way, thus having superfluous relationships without special commitment.
Can we know each other as we are? Do we give the opportunity to know us for real? Adding layers to our armor has these consequences, we lose who we are. We live trapped by fear, in order to keep ourselves closed to pain.
“If I want to know myself, my whole being, the totality of what I am and not only one or two layers, then it is obvious that I should not condemn, I must be open to every thought, to every feeling, to all the states of encouragement, to all inhibitions. ”-Krishnamurti-
When we are especially sensitive, we develop our ability to avoid being in ourselves, we face the world developing with different profiles, which are different depending on our character: the shy and shameful, withdrawn, edges, complacent, caretakers, those who are always for others, etc. Somehow, all these are our masks with which we protect ourselves, adopting a certain role. And so we avoid, whenever we can, talk about ourselves and enter into who we really are.
Learning to Know me giving Way to my Emotions
It is certain that I will feel the betrayal again, they will hurt me again and the scars of my wounds will open again. It is something that I cannot avoid, because it is part of life itself, of my passage through it.
If I really want to live it, learn to know myself and connect with others, I have to expose myself to all this happening even if I feel fragile. My insensitivity, coldness, my armor; the breastplate and the walls that lift are not the solution.
Hiding me merging with others is my self-deception, the role I play to feel safe. Everything is a falsehood, a little trick that prevents me from recognizing myself.
We anesthetize our sensibility by preventing it from expressing itself, because when in the past we have had the feeling of having found the person with whom we can share it, we have been betrayed. When we open up, we have lost our own course and love, to be able to accept ourselves, building an even more real love again.
This process is the most vulnerable, since we are rebuilding our identity by stepping forward, learning to explore and recognize the sensitivity we have hidden with locks. At the same time that we are more exposed there is a greater probability of being hurt, because these changes in turn imply a transformation in the relationship with another person and in the established roles.
The disappointments we go through help us see more clearly what kind of people we want to be with. We are selecting through deeper issues such as values, honesty and authenticity.
After all, this whole journey has its lessons at every step we are taking. Letting our emotions manifest, however painful they may be, we facilitate the encounter with ourselves, and the deep connection with the rest of the world.
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