The Causes And Effects Of Divorce

In today’s world, we are encountering a variety of social problems. From the lack of healthcare, poverty, alcohol and drug abuse, crime, unemployment, and much more. Then, there are the type of social problems that society often faces behind closed doors. For instance, one of the biggest social problems people face today is divorce. Divorce is the legal termination of a marriage. Each day, divorces become more and more realistic due to its constant rapid growth. As divorce rates go up, the concerns and uncertainty about marriage rise as well. In the past, divorce was seen as taboo. But, due to the increasing number of divorces, the social view of divorce has been normalized in today’s time. Getting a divorce is an easy way out when dealing with problems in a relationship. It is something that interferes with one’s personal and social life.

Along with the effects of the person’s emotional and physical well-being. However, that is not the only problem; when a couple brings up the idea of getting a divorce, there are many things that will change and be affected with that decision. From their children, to income distribution, property rights and the emotional damage that is left behind. Clearly, a divorce is not as easy as it seems. The regular use of utilizing a divorce to get out of marriages is a huge problem in our society. It is a painful, traumatic, and a stressful process for both, adults and children, that can affect their emotional well-being for the rest of their lives.

In addition, there are is a list of reasons that contribute to the decision of a marriage leading to a divorce. One of the major reasons people tend to get a divorce is due to financial issues. Although financial issues are an enormous problem for many regardless of marital status, the issues and management of money between the two can be very difficult. Over the years, I’m sure we have grown to recognize how significant money is in our life. In a marriage, couples are to adjust to the concept that they will now be sharing money with their significant other. Along with that, comes the importance of learning how to agree as to what exactly is “important” and worthy of spending money on. As controversies arise in what each thinks is important, there are money issues that are big enough to cause marriage problems. According to an article by CNBC, titled “Fighting With Your Spouse? It’s Probably About This,” written by Kelley Holland, the article states- “Finances are the leading cause of stress in a relationship, according to a survey of people in a relationship or partnership... some 35 percent of all respondents experiencing relationship stress said money was the primary cause of friction” (Holland). Thus, money issues leads to stress, stress leads to frustration and anger, frustration and anger leads to miscommunication and so forth. Which brings me to my next point, miscommunication is also a huge factor that leads to divorce.

The lack of communication is another threatening issue in a marriage. Without communication, couples are unable to recognize their spouse’s feelings, concerns, and/or needs. Spouses begin to feel unconsidered, lonely, and unsupported. When ignored, couples tend to become more and more physically and emotionally distant each day. Even worse, the problems they have are also growing bigger and bigger. Soon, the anger and frustration that was built overtime is very probable to prevent the couple from deciding on a conclusion, of any agreements that needed to be made. In the article by HuffPost, titled “Poor Communication Is The #1 Reason Couples Split Up: Survey,” written by Nicolas Hansen states- “Lifestyle website polled 100 mental health professionals and found that communication problems were cited as the most common factor that leads to divorce (65 percent), followed by couples’ inability to resolve conflict (43 percent)” (Hansen). Without a doubt, the miscommunication between marriages is incredibly impacting to their relationships.

Lastly, another significant reason for divorces is infidelity. Infidelity is the action or state of being unfaithful to a spouse or other sexual partner. The main reason for infidelity, in fact, is due to the lack of communication. Not communicating with spouses often makes them lose attractiveness, connection, sexual desires, etc. Often, when that is missing in a marriage, either one or possibly even both partners open the door to infidelity when they turn to a friend or coworker for advice. According to an article from Trustify, titled “Infidelity Statistics: Why, When, and How People Stray,” the article states- “22% of men say that they've cheated on their significant other, 14% of women admit to cheating on their significant other, and 36% of men and women admit to having an affair with a coworker” (Trustify). Those are big numbers that continue to increase today! When there is infidelity in a marriage, that is what immediately sets the interest in getting a divorce. The aftermath of infidelity is known to be something very difficult to cope with. For example, the spouse who becomes a victim of infidelity often feels at fault for not giving their partner what was needed to sustain a positive and healthy marriage. They also feel very insecure, disrespected, and heartbroken. Questioning themselves where they went wrong, what needed to be different, and even contemplating their physical appearance. In addition, this affects people emotionally and can put them at risk for more serious health issues such as depression, suicide thoughts, and self-conscience. Other than health issues, it is possible for a victim of infidelity to have fear when starting a new relationship later on in life.

Aside from the causes of divorce, are the effects. The number one unintended targets of divorces are children. In the textbook, “Social Problems,” by John J. Macionis, the book notes- “In the United States, about 20 percent of marriages end by separation, dissolution, or divorce within 5 years” (Macionis, pg. 362). As I mentioned above, divorces are seen as an easy way out of the problems in a marriage. In connection to the fact that divorce rates are higher than ever, it is evident that many parents are not thinking twice about the harm and consequences their children will be left to deal with. One of the many major impacts of children living through a divorce is the fact that it is splitting the family in half. Prior to the way they were living before, many children face difficulty understanding their parents’ decision and transitioning to a new lifestyle. Because their parents will be separating, some children will have the opportunity to make the pressuring and uneasy decision as to which parent they would like to live with. Then, it will be much more difficult for children to either see their mother or father, depending on who they decide to stick with. Another negative factor having to do with the division of parents is that there will now be single-parenting. Single-parenting means double the responsibilities, duties, and very little time left for their children.

Obviously, a divorce is challenging to cope with for both, adults and children especially. Dealing with a broken home causes feelings of abandonment, loneliness, stress, depression, anxiety, and much more that then leads to rebellion, uncontrollable behavior. It’s a huge distraction and weight that interferes with their life personally and academically. According to an article from The Spruce, titled “Statistics About Children of Divorce,” by Wayne Parker, Parker states- “Approximately 50% of American children will witness the breakup of a parent's marriage. They will tend to have lower paying jobs and less college than their parents; unstable father-child relationships; a history of vulnerability to drugs and alcohol in adolescence; fears about commitment and divorce, etc” (Parker). Surely, a divorce is a huge challenge for children to face that impacts the rest of their lives emotionally and psychologically.

Evidently, at this point, I’m sure we can all agree that divorces are a huge issue and concern in our society today. However, that doesn’t change the fact that there is a variety of changes and practices we can do that will significantly impact our future and the well-being of those around us. In the textbook mentioned above, there was a ton of informful and shocking statistics. One of which being the statement- “The bigger picture is that today’s divorce rate is almost four times higher than it was a century ago” (Macionis, pg. 362). Insane right? Fearful for the future, for the future of my loved ones, and children all over the world I am hopeful we will be able to make a change soon.

Despite the expenses and bad popularity that has been increasing in regards to divorces, I am a firm believer in the power of varying options when you have them. For example, instead of having a huge argument over a disagreement, it is recommended that parents seek to communicate with one another to come up to a mutual agreement. Another factor included in the textbook that has to do with the well-being of children involved in a divorce, is the child support payments. The textbook states- “Failure to make an estimated $14 billion and child support payments by the noncustodial parent is one cause of high poverty rates among U.S. children” (Macionis, pg. 365). Now, not only is it healthier and beneficial for a child to have both of their parents around, but this also pushes the idea of better resolvement methods. The major one being to completely inform couples on the seriousness of divorce, acknowledging what they’re getting their children and themselves into. Something I learned from the textbook that I personally find to be a great idea is the making of a Premarital Agreement. A Premarital Agreement is a contract in which the future married couple discuss the distribution of their property, income, children, and housework in case of the possibility of a divorce later on in the marriage. Other solutions include couple’s therapy or counseling. They can be taught skills on how to listen, understand, and respond to one another. Being patient in difficult times, not giving up so easily, and working together is essential for a working relationship. Therefore, when problems arise in a marriage, it is not the end. In fact, it demonstrates the importance, care, and concern spouses have to their relationship.

After reading about different perspectives, research, studies, and facts, I remain believing that getting a divorce is a very dejecting decision. However, it is important to maintain an open mind and comprehend those who have either previously been through a divorce or may encounter one in the future. In addition, we must also understand that situations are bound to happen that will put people in a position where a divorce will be the best decision. With the information and statistics provided, we as a society and a nation in general, working through problems can help lower the number of divorces if more effort was put into a marriage instead of automatically running out. The idea of protecting our children’s well-being emotionally, physically, and psychologically should be a motive to try harder until all options are exhausted. Somethings are worth a little more time and take more work, but in the end they may just be worth the hassle.