Nature vs Nurture: Is Identity Innate or Learned

Introduction

The idea of being loved whether it be by family, significant other, or even by society, is one that we all strive for in our day-to-day lives, however, is this love we are trying to receive based on things we have lack of control over? Identity can be defined as the fact of being who or what a person or thing is, but as you get submerged into what we define identity as today it seems to have veered away from this definition. People's identities are created through their environment, not at birth.

Gender roles, cultural upbringing, and family love

Individuals are taught gender roles at a young age. Throughout early childhood, children are introduced to the gender stereotypes and roles of our world, roles that society has created for them. We teach children that if they do not follow these rules put in place by society that they will be looked at as different and we teach them that different is wrong. Children are taught that their gender determines what they will do with their life and if you what you chose to do falls outside of that category then there must be something wrong with you. As a society, we teach young men that they are to be strong and that they should show no form of emotion. We teach them to be aggressive and bold. In comparison, we teach young women that they are fragile. We teach them that they should always respect a man’s opinion and to never go against that. We teach young women that our worth means less than what a man wants. As we teach our children that rules set forth by society parents are shaping their identity into what society wants them to be.

In addition, cultural upbringing has a major role in a person’s identity. Cultural upbringing refers to the way a child was raised culturally, this can be a combination of religion, ethnicity, and even things that are passed down through your race. Throughout many cultures individuals are encouraged to fall that culture without fail, and this means occasionally or more often going against your identity. Different cultures find different things taboo, including homosexuality, transgender, and even the way a person may view the world differently. Many cultures will go as far as to lose contact with someone rather than go against the beliefs they have towards a subject. This creates a feeling in many individuals who do have strong cultural beliefs that they do not have the ability to be able to follow their identity without leaving behind everything they know. The situations that occur from these cultural upbringings are hard to face because for many of these individuals, they have been told their entire life that how they feel is wrong and shameful. Cultural upbrings play a part in shaping an individual’s identity because a child has been taught their entire life that a piece of someone’s identity is wrong, if they find they have that piece of identity in them they are less likely to bring it forward.

Finally, family love helps to create a person's identity. The idea of love in a family has many definitions, for some this includes showing affection towards your children, for other families love is shown through the support and respect they have for each other, and there are even families who have their own unique, unconventional way of showing love. A lack of family love can greatly affect a young child’s self-confidence and cause them to wonder if they deserve to be happy. Though parents always want the best for their children, occasionally they are blinded by the image they have of what they want their child to be rather than who their child truly is. The way parents show their love to their child also allows the child to understand their level of comfort with their parents and if this level of comfort is high in the relationship the child is more likely to show their parents their true identity. The principles and the bonds of the parental and family love are special and this type of love is a type in which children can only experience with select people, depriving them of this love is not harsh and cruel but can make them change their identity whether it be entirely or just in your presence. Children usually gain confidence originally from their families, if a child feels a lack of love they are more likely to feel they shouldn’t follow their identity. This is because if a child feels they are not worth having something unique about them or finding who they truly are, they will not feel they should find their identity.

Although many people believe that people's identities are created through their environment and not at birth, others disagree. Though there are situations where someone’s identity can be altered by these factors there are also theories that state that an individual’s identity is something that they are born with and nothing can alter or affect it. There are many cases where, despite the families' wishes, a child still follows their identity. An example of this would be homosexuality, many children grow up where this is considered taboo or even a sin in their religion and yet they still follow their identity and adopt the culture that leads them to. Children grow up in a vast amount of different circumstances and it could be said that no child grows up under the same circumstances, and while they are all different many of these children go on to find who they truly are. The idea of gender is one that does not affect everyone, there are many individuals that go against the gender roles that have been placed on them as women pursuing a career in engineering and a man being a stay-at-home dads. Despite these theories that many individuals suggest there is research states that family does in fact affect our way of finding our identity (Elizur, Yoel, and Ziv). There is also research on how gender affects identity, this research states that among all the stereotypes and gender roles the concept of gender alone affects the way that individuals develop into their identity (Ashmore). Though there are facts that support both sides of this debate, the idea that individuals are born with identity is baffling and near impossible.

Conclusion

The idea of identity is one that some people know from the moment they are born, while others spend their entire lives searching for it, though this doesn’t mean they were in fact born with their identity. When we find who we truly are, we find our identity, and we find a culture with this identity this is something that has come to be very new and this culture is accepted throughout our country. The ways in which an individual finds their identity can be terrifying and it may make you wonder if who you are today is who you were truly meant to be or if you are a product of your environment.

References

1. Lerner, Richard M., and Domini R. Castellino. Adolescents and Their Families: Structure, Function, and Parent-Youth Relationships. Garland Pub., 1999.
2. Ashmore, Richard D., and Del Boca Frances K. The Social Psychology of Female-Male Relations: a Critical Analysis of Central Concepts. Academic Press, 1986.
3. Elizur, Yoel, and Michael Ziv. “Family Support and Acceptance, Gay Male Identity Formation, and Psychological Adjustment: A Path Model*.” The Canadian Journal of Chemical Engineering, Wiley-Blackwell, 6 May 2004, onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1545-5300.2001.4020100125.x.
4. McKown, Clark, and Rhona S. Weinstein. “The Development and Consequences of Stereotype Consciousness in Middle Childhood.” The Canadian Journal of Chemical Engineering, Wiley-Blackwell, 27 Mar. 2003, onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/1467-8624.7402012.