My Experience Of Trudging Through Pain

Life is a mixture of different emotions. Sometimes it is full of happy moments, others are sad, frightening, learning, and discovery among others. One explores life though experiences that happen throughout life. These experiences shape and make us who we are. No one is immune to these happenings since everyone has a series of events that happen in their lives where some cannot be avoided by any human power. Such experiences inform our personality, relationships and even behaviors. Some of the happenings are happy moments that we have fond memories of and others are beneficial as we learn from them and make us better persons. Others still are traumatic and painful that lingers in the mind for a long time and at times we never recover from them. I happened to suffer from one of these traumatic experiences whereby my friend and I were involved in a tragic road accident, and it took so long for me to heal from what transpired, but learnt an important lesson in life of appreciating people and valuing their presence.

When I was about nine years old, my family and moved to another State. It was all different from what I had been used to. Being young, energetic and playful, I yearned for a friend that I could spend time with. In the neighborhood, there was a young girl of my age named Joan. Within a short time, we became friends and I also joined the school she was schooling in. We were in the same class and this developed our friendship more. We spent a lot of time together both in school and at home. We learnt most of the activities that young girls discover at this age together such as riding bicycles, playing football, cooking and other fun activities. By coincidence, we both loved outdoor activities. Our parents would also plan for our visits to the zoos, museums, game parks and the like together. Our bond grew and we treasured the relationship. When it was time to join high school, we joined different institutions as we had differing preferences in careers we wanted to later in life. It was hard to part, but we knew our friendship was firm. During school holidays, we would spend quality time together, helping and supporting each other in case of anything. Joan was someone who I would rely on at any time and would not shy to caution me in case I make mistake. I as well would advise her on some issues. We helped each other to be on the right track to an extent that people admired our friendship. Our parents were also proud of us as we used our times constructively.

In one of our high school years, we longed for the summer break after a long stay in school. We met and it was time to catch up on what had transpired over the period. We discussed a lot of issues from academic to recent discoveries. Since the summer break was quite long, we decided that we would just idle but volunteer in an organization that helps disabled children to learn some basic lesson. This was an opportune time to give back to the society and was a great way to spend our holiday. We would do this for four days a week together with other volunteers. We would visit different children homes and schools together with the project lead team. It was a great experienced since we were fulfilled with what we were doing. One day, we spent quality time with children with autism in one of the selected schools. It was a day filled with lots of activities that the entire team was too tired. When we got to the vehicle to head back to our homes, it was already dark and due to the fatigue, I fell asleep. I was woken up by screams, loud cries and sirens. I immediately lost consciousness and regained it while at hospital. I could not understand when I woke up and found my parents by my side. They explained what had transpired and were glad that I was alive and had survived the accident. As I came to my senses, I recalled what happened and immediately asked about the fate of my friend Joan. By the look on their faces, I could tell that something was amiss. They would look at each other and try to dismiss the question. I insisted as I could not imagine what the silence meant. They were hesitant, and as pleaded, my fears were confirmed. They told me Joan and another volunteer were not lucky and they had perished in the accident as they had internal bleeding. I could hardly believe and that though that it was just a nightmare that I did not want to even think about. Confirmation of this sad information pierced right into my heart and could not comprehend how I could cope without my best friend Joan. My parents tried to console me as I could not stop yelling her name. It was recommended that I see a counselor in order to lessen the impact the news would have on my health. I felt that life was so unfair, how could I lose a friend who I treasured and cherished. I had so many unanswered questions of why Joan had to live me so suddenly when all life was ahead of him. He had great dreams which he always shared with me. He was planning to join a medical school as her vision was to become a doctor. He told me that he would wish to offer her services to the less privileged who could not afford these essential services. Her choice was a third world country though she did not have a specific one. This vision had been cut short by the cruelty of death and now Joan was no more. Her demise was something that I have never come to terms up to this day. It still hurts.

The death of Joan was traumatic. I suffered as I could recall the good times we shared together. The thought of her was devastating and really affected my health. I got stressed and was almost depressed. That period was my worst ever. It took years for me to recover from the shock. It has been ten years since Joan died. I must confess that it has been painful. My life has tremendously changed. It was a lone journey of recovery which my parents as well as Joan parents together with counselors took me through. Joan’s parents were hard hit as Joan was their only child. I still feel frail and sometimes guilty. I often think that I could have done something to save Joan. For long, I became a victim of blame until I understood that it was not about me, and sometimes we cannot avert what happens. Life has never been the same. I came to understand that people go through painful experiences. Until one suffers such a tragic, no one can understand the pain the victims undergo.

I had and still have friends, and make new ones, but no one can take the place of Joan. Not a day passes without revisiting the memories we had together. I still have a huge gap within me that Joan used to occupy as still mourn her till this day. I imagine where she could be today and the things she would have accomplished if she was still alive. I think of the many lives that could have benefited through her services by now, and I can only conclude that death is so unfair. The pain that still lies within is so fresh. It still feels like the accident happened yesterday due to the vivid memories that still linger in my mind. I also feel sorry for her parents as they were robbed of their only joy. I had made major steps to heal from the loss, but still I sometimes feel that my joy is not complete. I lost a friend, a confidant, and a dreamer.

The death of Joan changed my perspective about life. I have learnt to appreciate people especially those who I love and care about. I have more value to life and appreciate every moment that I am alive. I have resolved to live my best and make positive impacts in the world. I know that she is proud of the many hearts she touched though her volunteer and the gratitude she was accorded due to her selfless dedication to works of charity. Joan had a big heart that would change many situations in the world. I may not live to realize her dream, but her vision is one I resolved to emulate such that her dream will be a reality.