My Experience Of Growing Overnight

Although at age four I thought I could understand the advice given to me, for whatever reason, I didn’t understand my Mother’s words; “Growing up takes time.” In my bright, red painted room, I could see my mother towering over me trying her best to calm me down. Her face expressions seemed forged as she tried to explain to me the concept of growing up. I just suspected that this was her lousy attempt at shading the reality of growing up to reinforce that I was “normal”. By now, tears were trickling down my face and onto my blue and black striped sheets. Frustrated and upset on my fourth birthday, I had to ask myself the question that my friends and peers would tease me with; why was I so darn small? In the past, getting teased caused me to become self-conscious about my height all the way up to the start of high school when I got taller. Although I did not understand this at age four, as a highschool sophomore, I have come to realize that when coming of age occurs, prior experiences either positive or negative, will appear less significant than it was when the experience arised.

To the right in my dark, empty hallway, my toy filled room for whatever reason, seemed to be my save place. The room was my home inside my home. For instance, I slept in it, played in it, cried in it, and even showed it off to my friends. Sometimes, I could even smell the musty scent of my dog in my room whenever I came in there. When I was younger, I was on the small side for my age. Most of my friends and peers in my grade were bigger than I was; at least, that is what I thought at the time. Although I did not appreciate the fact that I was smaller, it was sometimes handy when playing games like hide and seek. From what I remember, I would hide under small objects or crawl in small openings in the playground; however, being smaller made me feel like I had less freedom and less power.When I was three years of age, the occasion I looked forward to more than any other was my fourth birthday because I thought at the time that I would have a sudden growth spurt. The reason for that is because my friend, Matthew said to me, “Don’t worry about being small now, you’ll grow up on your birthday.” As a gullible almost four year old, I was looking for someone to tell me when I would finally grow up, and this was perfect for me to latch on to. Before I woke up my birthday, I planned to look in the mirror to see how much taller I was. At the time, I was very excited because I would not have to worry about my size any longer. The following morning, I woke up and immediately sprung out of my bed and raced down the hallway while simultaneously passing by all of the framed photographs of myself and my family.

Finally, I zoomed into to the bathroom and switched on the bright yellow light as my eyes quickly shifted to the mirror. I suddenly felt a rush of disappointment through my body as my joyful grin slowly dropped to a dry, straight face. Unfortunately, I still needed a step stool to see my dead, wide eyes. Although my natural reaction back then would be to cry, I just stood there for a second and stared at the mirror thinking, How could this possibly happen to me? After a few seconds passed, I could feel my eyes starting to water as the image of myself through the mirror started to get blurry. As tears were dripping down my face, I started to wine out of frustration. On the other side of the hallway, I saw my mother running out of her room thinking I hurt myself. She immediately rapped her comforting arms around me and picked me right up as she calmly asked me; “Are you okay?” Still sobbing, I answered by saying, “Mom, why am I not a grown up yet?”Looking confused, she asked me “Well what do you mean?” “I just want to grow up already and it’s not fair that I’m smaller than everyone else,” I said as my voice was shaking from being so upset. As I was crying in my mother’s arms, she took me to my room and sat me on my warm, cozy bed. She sighed, and then said to me “Growing up takes time Finn.” At the time, I just thought that she was just telling lies to make me feel better about myself. In my wacky little world, I just thought that growing happened overnight on birthdays and that there was something wrong with me. “But Mom,” I whined, “what if I stay small forever?” My mom sighed again out of humor and calmly said, “You won’t, and even if you do, you will still be the great, kind, awesome Finn that I know.” While sitting there and absorbing my mother’s words, I realized something; that even if Matthew was right, and I stayed small for the rest of my life, I would still retain the same value as a human being as I would be if I were taller. After an episode of tears, I started to calm down as my breathe slowed down together with my heart beat. “Mommy” I stated with ambition, “I don’t even care what the kids at school think, or anybody. I will make myself happy and that’s all that matters.”

As a result of my birthday, I have learned that even though my four year old self could not grasp the topic of understanding how past memories, either pleasant or unpleasant, will seem less relevant than it it did when the situation occurred, it is important to be confident with a person’s self image. Before I came into highschool, I was still smaller than most others, but I learned to embrace not just that, but also a lot of character traits that made me different from others. Since my epiphany, I have come to the conclusion that it is important for everyone to do what satisfies themselves, not what satisfies other people within reason. For example, in second grade, I wore a scarf to school in may because I wanted to, and I was not afraid of being made fun of. However, today as a teenager, I still struggle with self confidence because I am sometimes so focused on being liked by others that I forget to do what I like. Despite the bravest of people, the towering iron bars of fear is what’s keep us humans in prison.