Live Every Day Like There Is No Tomorrow

I always hear those old sayings. The ones about how “you only live once” and you should always “speak your mind”. I think they make sense, and I liked to think I lived by those morals. But I never really thought one might affect me, or become as realistic as it has become in my life. The clichés about living every day like there is no tomorrow and telling those you love how you feel before it is too late have a whole new meaning to me.

The fourth maddening buzz of my alarm went off as I groggily slid out of bed. I turned to stop the alarm on my phone when I remembered that today, June 6th, was the last day of school. Just the thought of waking up late the next morning and feeling the long, slow weeks of summer stretch out ahead made me smile. The past school year had been especially hard for me, due to the difficult transition from high school to college. I had been preparing my whole life to go to Stanford, but I underestimated its rigorous curriculum. My family had attended this university for generations, so I was destined to follow my ancestor’s lead. But what comes with that legacy is an unspoken yet mutual agreement between my parents and me, that I must live up to their expectations and maintain their reputation here at Stanford. I can not do anything that could possibly sully my family name.

Over time, I naturally developed a fear of disappointing my parents, and it has traumatized me into doing nothing but study my entire freshman year. I sacrificed all my free time that was meant for hanging out with friends, and instead, hit the books. But I had made it up until now, and after today, I would have freedom. I slipped on a hoodie and some leggings and headed out. I thought to myself, I just have to endure this one last day… “Where do you think you’re going?” I had a late reaction, stopping in my tracks a moment after the interrogation. Still in my sleepy state, I rubbed my eyes to make sure my vision was definite. It was Veronica, standing in the doorway crossing her arms. Veronica was my dorm mate, who also happened to be my best friend. She was the only social interaction I had that year, and I relied on her as a solace in my life. She would bring home food for me when I was too busy studying. She would help me with my homework and test me on things I needed improvement on. And most importantly, she would talk to me about things outside of academics and update me on what’s going on in the real world. Having her as a roommate was the only way I managed to stay sane that year. “I have class and so do you, V, ” I yawned, brushing past her and reaching for the doorknob. Veronica grabbed my shoulder and flipped me so that I was facing her. “No, we don’t Jessica. Today is the first day of summer! Chad’s party? Remember?” The ancient memory of Veronica ranting about how excited she was about the end of the year party suddenly resurfaced in my mind. “Oh my god. I completely forgot. I’m so sorry, I can’t make it. I still have class today. ” “Ugh, ” she coughed in disgust. “Come on Jess! You have to come! You’ve been so tightly wound this entire year. A little party never hurt anybody, ” she persuaded, nudging me. I shook my head. “No, no. I can’t. My parents would never approve. ” I stepped back and crossed my arms, mirroring her pose. Veronica stepped forward. “You know I’m not taking no for an answer. Besides, this will be good for you! Please come with me. Just this once. Please? For me?” I uncomfortably shifted my stance, avoiding eye contact. I fidgeted with my hoodie drawstring and paused for a moment. “My parents are going to kill me, ” I mumbled. Veronica’s face lit up. “Is that a yes?” I looked up at her and smiled. “Yes!” I squealed, and we both started jumping up and down in excitement. “Okay! Well, you better start getting ready. The party’s at seven!”

I took a quick shower and quarreled with Veronica over which outfit to wear. We did each other’s hair and painted our nails. We attempted to do our eyeshadow and laughed at each other when it failed. We spent the entire day getting ready together. However, that was not a surprise. Veronica earlier was right. This was not any ordinary party we were getting ready for. It was Chad Wesley’s annual “First day of Summer” party. The ultimate party of the summer. He hosts it at his cabin in the woods and it is extremely exclusive. Everyone knows about it, and it is every student’s goal to get invited. Veronica, unlike me, has lots of friends and connections. She somehow finessed two invitations for us. To receive an invitation and not show up would give off the wrong impression. I had to go. And although I was nervous, it would be a great way to get some exposure, ingratiate with upperclassmen, and meet new people. We did our finishing touches, grabbed the keys, and hopped into my car.

I followed the GPS route that Veronica plugged in. It was a 13-mile trip through a forest. We rolled down all the windows, blasted music, and sang and talked our hearts out. Our hair and makeup that we spent hours on got messed up, but I didn’t care. It felt so good to do normal, typical teenage girl things again. I looked at the clock and was reminded of the fact that I skipped class. I knew my life seemed too good to be true at that moment. It was just a matter of time until something knocked me down again. I started to panic, and I turned down the volume of the music. I turned to Veronica who was in the passenger seat and said, “Veronica. I skipped class today. To go to a party. My parents don’t know yet. I don’t want them to find out from anybody else than me. I have to call them. ” She gave me an exasperated look. “Okay, fine. Just try to make it quick. ”I pulled out my cell phone, shakily dialed my Mom’s number, and anxiously waited for her to pick up. Due to the anticipation, my legs started to tremble, my palms started to sweat, and my heart was pounding. I started to regret my previous decision and blamed myself for actually thinking my parents would understand. All they care about is their wealth and reputation. They neglect anything or anyone that do not meet their standards. I wanted to take back what I did. I wanted to go back in time and attend my classes. But it was too late to change my mind. “Hello? Jessica?” The sound of my Mom’s voice made me jump out of my seat. I accidentally brushed my hand against the wheel and steered the car sharply to the left.

The car swerved to the other side of the road. Veronica braced herself and mouthed, “Are you okay?” “Sorry, ” I mouthed back. Thankfully, there were no other cars on this road. I simply pulled the wheel of the car back into the right lane. “Jessica? Is everything alright?” I sighed and slumped back into my seat. “Yes, Mom. I’m fine. So, there’s something I need to tell you. ” The sky was pitch black now, which was odd because it was only 6:00. I could only see by the square orange lights on the side of the road. It also started to sprinkle, so I turned the windshield wipers on. They whipped back and forth, attempting to clear away the large droplets clinging to the window, but it seemed they could not keep up with the steadily increasing rain. The wheels slipped a little on the wet pavement, but I kept the car steady. “Honey? You’re glitching. Where are you right now? I can’t really hear you. ” I looked out my side window and noticed that trees walled us in on both sides. The connection probably can’t reach us in the woods, I thought to myself. Then out of nowhere, Veronica started screaming. “Jessica! Jess! Look! Stop!” I glanced back out my front window and was blinded by two blazing lights, like eyes trying to pierce the impenetrable darkness. It quickly struck me that a car was speeding towards me from the opposite direction, but in my lane. Again, I looked out both windows and took in the wall of trees on either side-there was no room to veer either left or right of the oncoming vehicle’s way. Impulsively, I slammed on my brakes and turned the car so that the back of the car faced the approaching car. The sound of my cars’ screeching brakes and tires skidding on the wet concrete shattered the heavy silence.

Veronica and I both screamed, and was interrupted by a loud honk followed by a powerful force that hit the car. The end crumpled with the force of impact and our heads slashed into the window, leaving a bloody splotch. The car spiraled out of control and the windshield imploded, showering the insides with deadly shards of glass. Both the steering wheel and dashboard crushed into one mutilated mess. It was then that the airbags released, exploding in our faces. The passenger door was savagely torn from its hinges and the two front wheels were sent spinning into the night. The metal of the car groaned like the final cry of a wounded beast. It shuddered once, then fell slowly onto its side. It felt like an immense weight was dropped on me and the last thing I saw was a waterfall of glass cascading down. After that, all was silent for a while. I immediately turn to Veronica and saw that she was breathing. “Oh thank god!” I murmured as a little tension was released in me. Her feeble, unconscious body was tangled in a mess of wires. I knew we were lucky to be alive and I felt grateful for surviving, but at the sight of Veronica’s body, all I could do was cry.

My body was in pain, and my soul was torn with guilt. How could I let this happen? She could have easily died, and the blood would have been on my hands. I could not live with myself knowing that I killed my best friend. On the other hand, how could the other driver let this happen? They put all of our lives in danger. What could have possibly caused them to crash into us like that? Disappointment, disbelief, and anger filled my mind as I lye on my side, sandwiched between the cold, hard window and the puffy airbag. I was still strapped securely into the driver's seat with nothing worse than cuts and bruises to show from the crash. But still, I didn’t know if I wanted to yell, cry, or smile. The rainwater began to form puddles in the crevices of the car. I started smelling smoke; the burning rubber and the explosives used to deliver the airbags mixed together into an oily taste. I grappled with the airbag and managed to push it to one side. Fumes that burnt my throat and caused my eyes to water spread in the car. I understood my time was limited, the smoke could kill us surely as the crash. We had to get out of the car. I wasted precious seconds struggling with the door handle before in my astonished state realizing that the car lay on its side, pinning the door against the ground.

Panic fueled me, as I scrambled for the other side of the car, but something held me back. My seatbelt was still attached. I frantically searched for the latch. I began to cough from the smoke inhalation, each lung sweltering. My eyes were red raw and both streamed uncontrollably as I fumbled with the belt. A rush of hot air engulfed the car as the fire spread. At once the heat became intolerable. The seatbelt released. I kicked myself out from the driver's seat into the passengers, coughing violently as I went. The smoke and rain got into my eyes, blurring my vision. I started to feel weak and nauseous, and I could feel my body slowing down. I knew my brain was deprived of oxygen and was in great danger of passing out. I wanted to give up. I was so uncomfortable in my soaked clothes, I didn’t know how to get both Veronica and me out of the car, and the aftermath of this whole thing would be disastrous. I just wanted to lay back and close my eyes. . . Suddenly, small drops of fire started to fall through the twisted metal burning my face, hair, and hands. I scattered out of the fire’s vicinity. To survive the crash only to be burnt alive, my mind reeled, I wanted to live! With a supreme effort, I lifted myself out of the hole where the passenger door was. I gathered all my remaining strength and energy to slowly pull Veronica’s unconscious body out of the car. I slid us down the side of the car and sat beside it. I remained there in the rain for several minutes, coughing and sputtering until I could draw a single breath and my vision cleared. But we weren’t out of danger yet. If the fire reached the gas tank, the explosion could kill us. Then if the fire catches the trees on fire, it would spread everywhere. We had to get further away, out of range of the car. I attempted to stand while carrying Veronica at the same time, but I was in almost immediate danger of falling back down. I focused on one step at a time and staggered less than 15 feet when the car combusted. A great ball of orange flames erupted from the vehicle, sending slivers of red-hot metal shooting hundreds of yards into the air. An invisible cushion of heat blew me from behind, lifted me effortlessly off the ground, and forcefully threw me like a rag doll. I lied there on my stomach with Veronica’s body sprawled out next to me. Despite the downpour, the unforgiving fire continued to burn, sending plumes of thick black smoke into the air. Occasionally something would sizzle or pop, like an old man muttering something under his breath. I really couldn’t believe what had happened. I was surprised that nothing seemed to be broken, and although Veronica was unconscious, I didn’t see any major injuries. I don’t know who crashed into us or what happened to them, but I didn’t care. I was just happy to be alive. But what would be the chances of somebody finding us out here? We really were in the middle of nowhere. Certainly, all forms of contact were destroyed in the fire. How would anyone locate us? The left side of my drenched jacket started to vibrate, then the familiar tune of my ringtone floated distortedly out of my pocket. I had completely forgotten about the call I was having with my Mom prior to the crash. My phone must have fallen off my shoulder into my pocket. She was trying to contact me. I had not even thought about how my parents would react to this incident. Would they yell at me for being irresponsible and skipping class? Or would they be happy to hear that I survived?

I prayed that it was the latter. With one swift, risking movement, I reached down and removed my cracked phone from my pocket being careful not to get it wet. I nervously placed it up to my ear. “Hello?” I whispered. “What happened? The call cut off! I heard screaming. Are you okay? Please tell me you’re okay”, my Mom hysterically yelled into the phone. Maybe she was concerned about me after all. I blinked in the rain, staring into the glowing ember that was my car. Small flickers of fire gracefully floated in the wind. After a pause, I managed a smile. “Hey, Mom. Yeah. I’m okay. But you see, there’s been an accident.”.