The Prevalence of Toxic Masculinity in Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is defined by the United States Department of Justice as a pattern of abusive behaviors within a relationship that allows one partner to gain or hold control over the other. This form of abuse impacts the lives of many Americans. Perhaps, the growing reality of domestic violence could be attributed to a society that has been socialized into embracing violence as a normal sign of masculinity.

Despite efforts by governments to end it, domestic violence rates remain high across the world. In the United States an average of twenty-four people per minute fall victim to an intimate partner or a family member. Eighty-five percent of the victims who suffer injuries at the hands of their significant other are women. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence has found that an estimated ten million women are battered by men they shared domestic partnerships and/or relationships with annually (Smith 162). The way men are socialized causes them to perceive exaggerated masculine traits like dominance, sexual aggression and violence as a show of manhood. They are groomed into believing that they should dominate in relationships and that their partners should submit to them. This would lead one to believe their masculinity can be a major influence on their willingness to engage in domestic violence. Toxic masculinity is a term coined by feminist groups to describe this social grooming. Toxic masculinity refers to socially constructed gender roles placed upon men that are harmful to society.

Masculinity is made up by qualities and attributes of men, such as handsomeness, ruggedness, strength and so on. Standards of masculinity vary from culture to culture. Men can be masculine without exhibiting toxic traits. The strength they possess, and the formation of their bodies present them as masculine. Notably, the constructions of masculinity are developed culturally (Fleming). When young boys are growing up, the gender roles and expectations of behaviors that they are guided towards help them develop and form perceptions about masculinity and what that means for them and the role they play in this society. For instance, when a young boy falls when playing in the house and is told to “rub some dirt in it” or that “boys don’t cry”, he will adopt an attitude that he should always show strength. He will learn that showing any emotion other than anger would make him appear weak and make him less masculine than his peers. The way young boys are raised can influence their development of toxic masculine traits.

Mainstream media bombards consumers with this patriarchal culture. In the United States most media portrayals of leading male characters are rewarded for possessing dominance over their female counter parts. They are awarded for aggression and violence and looked upon as heroic for taking matters into their own hands. They are almost always successful, independent, breadwinners and considered desirable by women. Male characters are prevented from exhibiting emotions or possessing any traits that may deem them “unmanly” by their audiences. In this way media plays a huge hand in telling men what it means to be a man.

Though this violent side of masculinity is developed through social constructs, it can also be triggered by events. Men are socialized to embrace and show their masculinity. They are told they are natural born leaders and taught that their success is linked to how manly society will view them. This makes traits of toxic masculinity appear more in instances of failure. For example, in cases of unemployment, men tend to show anger and aggression and may become physically violent. This also happens when men perceive that they are not accorded the respect that they desire, the respect they perceive they are entitled to simply because they are male, they become enraged. We see this often in cases of gang violence and mass shootings. This applies to their personal relationships as well. Social constructed male gender roles tell men that they should be dominate and powerful. According to Cari Jo Clark, an associate professor in the Hubert department of global health at the Rollins school of public health, intergenerational transmission of behaviors and attitudes increase men's perpetration of gender violence (2). When men are taught that they should rule in their homes, they end up having extended expectations of respect and submission. When they find that the people in their lives, including their significant others, do not show respect in the way they desired, they become violent as a way of asserting their dominance.

Additionally, toxic masculinity can be triggered by exposure to violence (Clark). In this case, men who were raised in violent families are likely to be violent in their relationships. According to professor of heath behavior and health education Paul Fleming, permissive attitudes held by men towards violence against women influence their behavior when faced with a domestic conflict (3). Fleming and his colleagues began investigating the risk factors for men's involvement in intimate partner violence. They used data that had been collected through the International Men and Gender Equality Surveys from places like Croatia, Brazil, Chile, and Bosnia. The results indicated that men who had witnessed parental violence would perceive gender inequality, and those who witnessed the battery of a woman in their childhood homes were groomed into believing this violence was acceptable had an increased chance of engaging in intimate partner violence themselves later. Although not from the US, professor, Nigerian poet and feminist activist Omolara Ogundipe further builds the connection between domestic violence and cultural teachings. According to Ogundipe, the notion of female tolerance and male dominance has encouraged toxic masculinity and domestic violence in many African communities (a1699). Ogundipe and a few colleagues conducted studies in Sub-Saharan Africa, where domestic violence rates are high. They found that domestic violence is viewed and culturally accepted as a form of disciplining female partners. A lesson learned through growing up in a home where this was practiced regularly. We can see from both studies that experiences with violence in the home at young ages can play a critical role in shaping perception of masculinity and can create a lingering legacy domestic violence.

Domestic violence and toxic masculinity are built into a culture. When domestic violence occurs, its causes can be traced to the cultural norms that are practiced by the society in which the man is a member. According to Rachel M Smith, author of the article “Deconstructing Hegemonic masculinity: The Roles of Antifeminist, Subordination to Women, and Sexual Dominance in Men’s Perpetration of Sexual Aggression,” men who adhere to these traditional masculine norms are more likely to exhibit coercive and aggressive behaviors towards their partners compared to men who do not adhere to the norms (161). While most perpetrators are male, the issue of domestic violence is not just a male one. Women have also been socialized to appreciate, value and accept these traditional male gender roles. They begin to believe that they somehow deserved the act of violence because they have been taught that as women their duty is to be submissive to men. We can find this in media, advertisements and even within magazines marketed to women with headlines that read “what to do if your man becomes quiet” or “sure fire ways to sexually satisfy your partner” because as women society has taught us they we are never the leading role, we are there to support a man and if your man is somehow unhappy the blame for his unwanted emotions rests upon you. As a result, approximately a quarter of domestic violence cases go unreported.

Domestic violence is largely perpetrated by men making the primary victims’ women. In fact, statistics show that one in every four women in the United States will experience domestic violence compared to one in every nine men (Smith 162) but women are not the only ones impacted by this side effect of toxic masculinity. When the topic of domestic violence is brought up the LGBTQ community is almost always overlooked. Recent studies suggest that LGBTQ members experience domestic violence at equal and sometimes even higher rates than their heterosexual counterparts. (4). Being that the focus to curb domestic violence has stayed on supporting female victims it has become increasingly harder for LGBTQ domestic abuse survivors to receive help. Toxic masculinity fosters male traits of domination, devaluation and homophobia. When speaking of these toxic traits we often think of this being a cisgender issue, but it impacts the LGBTQ community in many of the same ways. These traditional masculine ideals can impact how gay and trans men view themselves leading to poor self esteem that may result in drug and alcohol abuse and pave the way for violent outbursts. This is just one example of how the pressure to conform to these gender norms effect those who do not fit into this box society has created.

Domestic violence is strongly associated with these traditional gender roles. Addressing domestic violence in a way that makes a lasting impact will require collaborative efforts. If ninety eight percent of violence against women occurs at the hands of a man, it is easy to see what the common denominator is. As a society, men and women, we would need to focus on deconstructing attitudes towards these culturally accepted gender norms to move away from violence.