The Importance Of Making Our Own Choices

It has taken going off to college for me to finally be able to make choices of my own. I have no one here to tell me what to do or make decisions for me. This is a nice feeling but can also be frightening at times. Before college my parents were always doing their job of teaching me how to be a Christian women in this world full of chaos. Everything I did or said became a teaching moment for them to share their opinions and thoughts with me. Now I have to express my beliefs and form new opinions on issues I have never really had to think about before.

From the time I was born I went to church. As a child and as a teenager there were times I didn’t want to go and really didn’t know why I was going but went anyway because that is what we did every week. In 9th grade I finally told my parents I wanted to get baptized, they asked me a few questions and later that night I was baptized. I had been thinking about if for a while but wanted to wait till I was for sure ready to change my life. Becoming a Christian for me was a huge change in my life. From then on, all my choices, decisions, and thoughts had to first go through God. I now have an answer for why I go to church and it is to worship God and growing closer to him. To recap my faith was a factor that influenced my morals. My parents have also been a huge contributor to my morals and beliefs. They have taught me honesty, kindness, awareness of others and to think about the consequences of my outcomes.

I have always been aware of others feelings and emotions. I am also sometimes too aware and it affects how I react and think. I tend to overthink situations because I am afraid to be upfront and honest with people because of how they might react to me. I have to think my parents for teaching me that very important skill that will help me throughout my entire life. Both my parents have continued to tell me to be confident in myself and what I believe in. I think different life experiences have also influenced my beliefs and even been a factor in changing them. Even when life got too chaotic and busy my parents still made time to show me godly morals. For example, my mom was driving past this older lady on the side of the road carrying her groceries and walking really slow. My mom went back, asked her a few questions and ended up driving her to her house which was about 45 minutes away. The lady was so thankful and wanted to do something but my mom said no and told her it was a gift and it was God that made her stop. This example taught me to notice when others need help. On the other hand, my dad is the most generous person I know. When he gets a raise at work he keeps half and always does something to bless others with the rest. Not many people do that which is why it is so amazing to see and be a part of.

My parents are not the only ones that influence me. My grandparents have a kind and sweet heart and when I think of them I think of one time when I was in the car with them and we were in the drive through line at Starbucks, we got up to the counter to pay they also paid for the car behind us. I thought this was so cool and imagined what the car behind us were going to say when the worker told them their drinks were already paid for. Watching them do something like that was showing me what Jesus would do. A lady at my church named Rhonda Fernandez is my role model. She shows Jesus in literally everything she does. She is generous, humble, loving, caring, hospitable, and selfless. I want to be more like her someday. She does so much for our church and for our community. She is the head/founder’s daughter of the Lads to Leaders program. This program made me do things I would have never done before. I was and still am afraid to stand in front of a crowd and talk, but with this program I was able to give a speech in front of a large crowd and win 2nd place.

My definition of morals is rules that we follow that help us determine what is right and what is wrong. Some of my personal morals and beliefs that I follow are: honesty, being trustworthy, being aware of others, having self-control, having love and compassion towards others, kindness, etc. I have gone on two mission trips in my life. My first mission trip was to Panama. This trip I can tell you touched my life forever. I learned so many new things about myself and took so much away from it. I learned to be more grateful for the little things I have because the people there literally have nothing. My second trip to Honduras showed me Gods love. We built houses for families who lived under tents and had lots of children. These families didn’t really thank us but continued to thank God for the house. This didn’t necessarily change my morals and values but it did touch me and made them my own.

I am the type of person who usually just goes with the flow. I am not a loud spoken person so I never really share my opinions in front of a crowd. Because I have been doing this for such a long time it is hard for me now to have strong opinions and to be willing to share out loud. For example, when I am with friends or in a group and they are arguing or debating a topic I am super quiet and never really join in. I am also very shy and self-conscious and don’t want others to judge me on my answer. So, to answer the second question I tend to sometimes but not always just believe what others believe and tell me. I am trying to read the bible and interpret it with my own feelings but it is hard for me and something I still struggle with. I want to have a personal connection with God that is my own.

Another personal example is that I am not much into politics and don’t know too much about it. I have heard my parents taking about different people running for an office and trying to decide who to vote for. I don’t know a lot about the political parties so I have just gone with what my parents believe. Going to a public school was hard for many reasons. One reason being that you can’t talk about God especially not in biology class talking about creation and evolution. I think I made it through still believing in the truth but I can see the pressure to just agree with the textbook and get a good grade. How do you know your if there your own? I think you know when you don’t have to ask someone else. And when you feel strong enough and confident enough to share and speak up about something. For example, I have a professor this semester who has said some things in class that actually make me want to speak up. I haven’t yet but I do strongly disagree with somethings and it has made me rethink what I believe. It is important to be aware of who is influencing you. Is it positive or negative?

Friends are the number one thing that teens would say influence them. Most of the time you do something bad because of the people who hang out with not because you wanted to. When you see a change in your behavior for instance if you see yourself to be complaining a lot more than usual and you wonder why, maybe you should look at your friends and how react. This is a personal example for me.

Another thing to think about is peer pressure. College includes a lot of new things, new experiences, new friends, and new opinions and its okay to stand up for yourself. Church is a place where we put the differences away and can focus on being one body. I have been influenced by positive people that have come through my life. This quote I found does a good job of summing up what I am trying to say. “I think you know your beliefs are you own when you and your parents or friends don’t see eye to eye on something. Also, when you know in your heart that something is wrong. It might not be wrong to the world but it fells wrong to you. It’s good to keep in mind that we get to choose how we live our life”. “It’s okay to take good advice from your parents, but remember to always be true to yourself and who you want to be”. “Your parents will direct you to follow a certain path that they see best will help you succeed”.