The Effects Of Divorce On Children

Introduction:

Divorces are common; unfortunately, the children are the victims of this decision. One out of every two marriages today end up in a divorce, and many divorced families include children. Parents who are getting divorced every now and then are stressed over the impact that the separation will have on their children. During this tough period, parents might be distracted with their own issues, yet keep on being the most vital people in their children's lives.

While parents might be frustrated or calmed by the separation, children are afraid and confused by the threat to their security. Some parents feel so hurt or overwhelmed by the separation that they may talk to the youngster for comfort or direction. This can add to the pressure and the stress a kid is encountering. Separation can be misinterpreted by the children unless parents tell them what is happening, how they are involved and not involved, and what will happen to them. A child would believe that he/she caused the issue between his/her parents. Many children also think that they are responsible to reunite their parents back together, which adds up to the stress they already feel. Not only children are affected, but also teenagers are affected by same means. How are they affected? Teenagers and children are affected academically, socially, and psychologically; their future relationships are also affected.

Literature Review:

Psychologically:

Divorce causes destruction on the psychological stability of numerous kids. (P. Slope, 1993) Furthermore, the psychological impacts of divorce are continuous: Kids from separated parents have more behavioral and emotional issues, negative feelings, and less psychological prosperity than grown-ups from intact families.

Upon the separation of their parents, kids experience a wide scope of emotional responses, including pity, outrage, dejection, depression (which every now and then endures into later periods of life), heightened anxiety, worry, lower life satisfaction, lower self-esteem and self-confidence, fear, yearning, rejection, conflicting loyalties, and a feeling of blame for their parents' issues. An examination by David Popenoe of the National Survey of Children found that divorce was related with a higher rate of several mental health problems in children: depression; withdrawal from friends and family; aggressive, impulsive, or hyperactive behavior; and either behaving disruptively or withdrawing from participation in the classroom. (1996) Parental separation may likewise add to the advancement of mood disorders, bipolar I issue, dysthymia (mild chronic depression), depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder. (T. Afifi, J. Boman, W. Fleisher, and J. Sareen, 2009)

At the point when youngsters experience parental separation before age five, they are especially defenseless against enthusiastic clashes at the season of their parents' divorce. They will every now and again stick to their parents and 'regress' to bedwetting and different practices progressively normal for more youthful kids. More established youngsters, as opposed to sticking, regularly pull back from home life and look for closeness somewhere else. If divorce happens while the youngsters are adolescents (twelve to fifteen years of age), they will in general respond in one of two altogether different ways: by endeavoring to abstain from growing up or by endeavoring to 'speed through' adolescence. Early sexual action, substance misuse or reliance, antagonistic conduct, and sorrow are largely bound to happen following the divorce. These reactions are undoubtedly if the parents got divorced preceding age five, somewhat less so on the off chance that they separate after age 10, and apparently in particular amid the five-to ten-year-old stage. (D. Fergusson, J. Horwood, and M. Lynsky, 1994)

Divorce is identified with expanded sorrow and nervousness for both young men and young ladies everything being equal. Be that as it may, young men find parental separation more emotionally disturbing than young ladies do, and “boys with divorced parents tended to be more depressed than those from two-parent families regardless of the psychological adjustment, level of conflict, or quality of parenting manifested by their parents.” (R. Simons, L. Gordon, & R. Conger, 1999)

Psychological issues are less serious for those whose pre-divorce from families were high-conflict families. As indicated by Paul Amato of the Department of Sociology at Pennsylvania State University, child and adult prosperity may really improve after the end of an amazingly tangled marriage. (2000)

Socially and Academically:

Divorce can be considered heart-breaking for children. Helping the children through this situation is one of the toughest challenges separated parents face. This is sufficiently hard when the kids are under the watch care of either parent. While the children head back to the school and go spend the majority of the day away from the father and mother, parents are regularly left unable to help.

Various studies have connected divorce to setbacks in school. One study even discovered that the genuine separation itself, not the discord leading up to it, led to lowering the math scores and poor interpersonal abilities for children of divorce between the first and third grade. Many researches have been made and likewise demonstrated that the kids involved in the divorce are twice as likely to repeat a school year and five times as likely to be suspended or expelled. They frequently show more withdrawal, reliance, inattention, unhappiness, and less effort in work. Maybe a strong reason to why the children's academic performance is suffering so much after the parents' separation is due to an insufficient parent-teacher connection. A recent survey of 689 parents and 174 teachers shows that the teachers feel that the parents are abandoning them out of the loop about real changes in the home that lead to conduct issues at school. Then again, the parents feel that the teachers aren't telling the full truth about their kid's conduct. In the survey, 94% of the teachers said that they feel it's a must for the parents to inform them of a separation or other break in the marriage, however; just 23% of the separated parents surveyed said that they really uncover such information. (S. Garrison, 2015)

Future Relationships:

Parental separation frequently prompts low trust among youngsters, and the individuals who coolly date display “the strongest effects of parental divorce, suggesting that the repercussions of parental divorce may be in place before the young adults form their own romantic relationships.” (S. Jacquet and C. Surra, 2001) The separation of their parents makes dating and romance progressively troublesome for kids as they achieve adulthood. Parental separation appalls young adults' heterosexual encounters however the association is more apparent for ladies than for men, as indicated by one study. (Jacquet and Surra et al., 2001) These impacts convey into adulthood. At the point when contrasted and ladies from flawless families, ladies from divorced families additionally announced less trust and fulfillment in sentimental connections. Offspring of divorced parents dread being rejected, and an absence of trust much of the time ruins an extending of their relationship. One study demonstrated that people whose parents separated were more likely than people whose parents stayed married to trust that connections were assailed by treachery and the nonattendance of trust, and they were additionally bound to trust that connections ought to be drawn closer with alert. (D. Weigel, 2007)

People raised in divorced families will in general have less uplifting mentalities towards marriage, and progressively inspirational frames of mind towards divorce. This negative attitude about marriage prompts diminished commitment to romantic communications, which thus is identified with lower relationship quality. In Sweden, where parental rejection is exceptionally high, no noteworthy contrasts were found between people from divorced and intact families in their attitudes towards separation and marriage. Along these lines, the more common divorce and rejection is among adults, the more the attitudes and expectations of rejection are mainstreamed among children, even those raised in intact married families. Adult male kids of separated parents show more ambivalence than men from intact families about getting to be associated with a relationship, however they put more cash and unmistakable products in easygoing dating connections. Ladies share this ambivalence and show much more clash, uncertainty, and absence of confidence in their partner's benevolence and tend to place less value on consistent commitment. Unwed high teenage moms, who have desires for rejections and separations seeing someone, appear to hold negative attitude towards men ingrained by their folks' separation.

Compared with kids of permanently-married parents, kids of divorced parents have more positive perspectives towards divorce and less good frames of mind towards marriage. In particular, 'adolescents who have experienced their parents’ divorces and remarriages may feel that marriage is unpredictable and unstable.' (S. Risch, K. Jodl, and J. Eccles, 2004) People raised in divorced families are more outlandish than those from intact families to trust that marriage is suffering and perpetual, are less inclined to demand a deep-rooted conjugal responsibility and are more averse to consider themselves as parents positively. Parental divorce likewise expands youngsters' acknowledgment of living together, in any event until adulthood. In any case, religious support can lessen this impact. (M. Cunningham and A. Thornton, 2007) These attitudinal contrasts among offspring of divorced parents are recognizable even as early as kindergarten. Kids from divorced families are more tolerant of separation than are kids from intact families, however this is just likely if their folks had remarried. Without remarriage, the impact on their perspectives on separation was not noteworthy. The mothers' accepting perspectives toward separation cause more kids to accept separation themselves. These positive perspectives towards divorce affect not only likelihood of divorce, but also overall relationship quality.

Conclusion:

Divorce is disagreeable and negatively affects children. Kids thrive on consistency and routine, when this is upset it tends to be difficult for kids to recover that consistency back leading to conduct, psychological and passionate issues. During divorce, it is astute to look for directing for the youngsters included so they can figure out how to adapt to the progressions that accompanies divorce, to commonly parents get involved with what is occurring with their lives in managing divorce and disregard the necessities of the kids included. It is critical for parents to recognize the progressions youngsters experience throughout the divorce to avoid long lasting problems in their future such as depression, addiction, and other emotional disorders. Being able to provide structure, and consistency to children is necessary for them to develop cognitively and emotionally.

Critical Reflection:

I know that divorce is not easy for many people. I have a friend of mine whose parents got divorced when he was seven years old. Every day he goes to school with a driver that his parents hired. He either spends time with his father outside or lives in his mother’s house. He doesn’t talk with his parents a lot, but he does spend most of his time with his friends. His parents never really went to a parents-teachers meeting, which s why the teachers don’t know about his case. He must have suffered a lot growing up. He never got a chance to introduce his friends to his parents. Usually, parents would like to know the people that hang out with their child. Now, he is sixteen years old and is responsible for his own actions, so his parents decided to give him a sense of responsibility by purchasing him a car, giving him a credit card, and other stuff. His grades earlier weren’t that good they were decent, but now that he adapted to the divorce, his grades skyrocketed and became an A+ student in school. He is also a hard worker. He used to weigh a lot, but recently he started exercising in the gym and lost a lot of pounds.