My Lifeline And Plans For The Future

I believe that life is a beautiful thing because you get to choose how to live it and what to do with it. In my life today the most important things are my health, education, happiness, and family. My health is important for the reason being that my health can determine how long I will live. It is time to change my bad eating habits and love myself because this is the body I will be in until my life comes to an end. I do not want to be old and in pain or even having to go to constant check-ups only because I did not take care of myself now. Another thing I place my importance on is my education. Education is what will determine what my future will look like. If I do not place importance on it now, my later outcome would not be as good. Having an education can open doors to a variety of opportunities as I grow; which will lead to living better. My happiness is a big one for me now. I used to put everyone’s happiness before my own and it is time to end that. It is okay to be selfish at times because what you do for others, sometimes they would not do that for you. Family is another aspect that I place importance on. I feel like family breaks us to make us. If I am ever feeling down I know that they will be there to lift me. If I ever hit rock bottom they will be there to lift me. I know that one of the six family members will be there to listen to me and guide me like I would do for them. We have been through so much together and I hope to never let them down.

Not everyone considers their blood, their family. However, I consider my parents and four siblings in my family. They are what I love most and although things may get hectic, I am glad yet surprised we are still together as one. I live with both of my parents, Luisa and Rogelio and because of them, I have three brothers and one sister who I love the most. My parents had my oldest brother Francisco in Morelia, Michoacán and then moved to Harbor City. My parents then had Jesus, Luisa, Rogelio and I. The seven of us lived in a one bedroom apartment, but as we grew my father realized he needed to work harder and move us out. My father has been a gardener since he came to the U.S and my mother has always been a housewife. Having a father who is a gardener has made me the humble person that I am today. My father came to the U.S not knowing anyone, not knowing how to speak English, no education and he was only fifteen. He still managed to become successful; in my eyes. He moved us out to Compton and we are all now comfortable in the home we are in. Growing up, my dad was an alcoholic so it was not easy. Although he made sure we had a home, a full stomach and clothes it was always his love missing. My father being drunk with his friends all the time caused my mother to distance herself from him. It took him 12 years to realize the harm he was doing to our family and began getting involved with the church and has changed completely. Even though he has changed for the better and owns up to his mistakes, my mother will not forgive him for the damage he caused. Now, the script has flipped and she is the one harming. Not through alcohol abuse or drug abuse, but by seeing someone else. She has done it behind everyone’s back and even though she has gotten caught once, everyone thinks she has left it behind. She blamed it on my father’s past mistakes so we all forgave her and continued as a family. My youngest brother and I are the only ones who know she still continues to see the other guy because we have seen and she does not know. It is hard carrying that secret because neither of us wants to say it and be the blame for their divorce. It is not an easy living knowing she will eventually get caught again and we will not be together as a family anymore. My parents not being in love with each other is a very difficult obstacle that I cannot pass. I feel that it is not something you get over, but instead bear with it. I have realized that them staying together because of their children has actually affected us, not helped us. Although it really breaks me I wish my parents would get a divorce. I do not blame any of them because they both did wrong but them staying together is toxic to us all. It is really hard trying to concentrate when every day was a new argument. It hurts to know that one day it will be the last argument and after that we will not be together as one.

I do not know anything about my parents, grandparents, or ancestors’ lives which is very sad because as Professor Turner stated, “great stories are taken to the grave.” That is very agreeable considering that many of the elders faced many complications and managed to overcome them, however, the stories are not being told. If the stories are not told I will not be gaining any knowledge about where I come from and why I might have been raised a certain way. It is important to know this history to strive to not let what the elders worked for go to waste. Everything is the way it is for a reason and not knowing what they did will leave me with many unanswered questions.

Growing up in Compton is not easy. I had my first friend go to jail to face life in prison when I was only thirteen. Months after the words on the street was that it was his “friends” who put the blame on him for their actions. They also threatened him to not tell or they would be after his family. I believed that that was as bad as it would get, however, it only got worse from then on. As I grew older I began to get close to the “bad” kids because I felt like they were the ones who understood my problems best; the youngest one in that group being Ricardo, who was only fifteen. It was August 2015 we were all hanging out at school and we planned to meet up after school in Essay Street. When the time came to meet up a group of us began walking there meanwhile the rest of them waited there for us. As we approached the house we heard gunshots and saw the criminal fled the scene which was very shocking. We ran towards the scene and it was Ricardo laying on the floor with four bullet wounds. Watching him take his last breath was very devastating. The day of his services was very life changing; seeing his mom cry and scream to god asking for her son back be, begging god to give her one last opportunity to be a better mom, promising to god that she would be good and even begging God to not let any mother feel the pain of losing a kid. When junior year came around I thought that I was strong enough to be good after losing someone, nevertheless, it hit me again. This time around it actually left a scar in me. It was May 6, 2017 and I received a call early morning and it was my best friend. The most caring, loving, and respectful young man that has ever come into my life. We were holding a conversation about his day when suddenly he began to “ignore” me. I was upset because of that, but in the background, I was able to hear the dogs barking. I hung up and received a call a few seconds after and it was another friend who said, “Angle just got shot.” I froze because it literally happened while I on the line. My truest, most loyal friend is now gone; I couldn’t process it. I had to call his parents to tell them that their youngest son was just shot. It was very difficult seeing my best friend get disconnected from the life support machine; I know he was still there. I know that he was strong enough to survive that bullet that went across his face; unfortunately he did not. They killed him because they confused him with someone else, I couldn’t believe it.

My community is my hometown of Compton, California. Growing up in Compton I came across many new people every day who faced similar situations as me. The people there tend to fall for similar reasons and are all trying to seek their way out. This place is toxic in many aspects; bad influences, gang violence, and even deaths. I would consider this my community because a community is a place where the humanity shares similar goals and work together to get better. No one wants to live in a place where people are constantly getting killed, robbed, raped, peer pressured, limited, treated less or even treated as if they are not good enough. There are a lot of people who have hope, but they are not exhibited to the resources to get the help they need. They are not told about any opportunities that are available and because of this constantly happening: they lose hope. I want to see everyone in my community doing better because I can relate to the tough things they go through and I know that it is not easy. Growing up in Compton is like a trap and if you are able to get out; you are lucky.

Twenty-years from now I see myself married with kids in a nice house with a variety of pets. I also see myself working as a probation officer. That is the path I want to take, because I believe that a change is possible. I want to be the one to help guide people who lost hope. If one comes out of jail, they most likely believe that there is not anything out in the world for them and I want to be the one showing them that there is. I would like to work with the young people because they still have a lot of time to get back on their feet and try again. I also want to do it because I believe that everyone is the way they are for a certain reason. People are not born reckless meaning that something might have occurred and since no one took the time to listen to them they became heartless. I see probation officers as mentors for people who hit rock bottom harder than others. I just want to be able to help people and watch them shift their mentality from the negative to the positive.