Factors That Affected the Formation of My Personal Identity

Personal identity is a difficult topic, especially in the current time where we are assailed by internet trends challenging us to compromise and change our identity to fit in.

One of the biggest facets of my identity is the fact that I have lived in Rwanda and thus been exposed to a culture totally different from my home culture, meaning I am a Third Culture Kid. This has shaped my identity in many profound ways, some of which I probably don’t even realize at this point. But it means I know how to flit between different cultures and attitudes and adapt to vastly different cultural norms relatively seamlessly. It has also given me a much broader perspective of the world. I have seen my home country, the US in a different light, through the eyes of non-Americans.

This cross- cultural experience has also really shown me how much grey area there is in the world; most issues are not as black and white or clear cut as we would like to think. Living and traveling abroad also pushes your comfort zone as it is so unfamiliar. Spending a lot of time outside my comfort zone has given me an ability to just trust myself and leap into the unknown, whether that’s literally leaping off a bungee platform or launching myself into college thousands of miles away from my parents.

Rwandan culture specifically has also shaped my identity. Living in a place where good education is limited and is seen as the way to better yourself from your circumstances has taught me how valuable it is and how seriously it should be taken. Also, living in a place where most people or their families had lost everything taught me to take nothing for granted.

At this point I am still figuring out and growing into my identity, which is part of the reason that I am at college, to expose myself to new ideas and find what motivates me and what I can hold to.

Especially at a young age, our identity is inevitably shaped by those around us. To a certain extent, those parts of our identity are out of our control, dependent on who our parents are and what schools they send us too. The biggest values my parents instilled in me were in my life, the two biggest communities that have shaped me are the Mennonite Church and being in Rwanda. Growing up in the Mennonite church and going to church every Sunday instilled the values of egalitarianism, love, service, pacifism, and openness and acceptance to different ideas and ways of life. Egalitarianism ties into my ideals of treating everyone fairly regardless of their gender, skin color, or socio-economic status.

Another value instilled by attending a Mennonite church is love, or at least respect, for all people as a baseline, regardless of any other factors. Another value I hold to is pacifism. I am strongly opposed to violence as a solution to problems which is partly due to a strong respect for human life. And finally, one of my biggest values from the Mennonite church I attended, and my parents is an openness to learning from other belief systems and practices. A sort of self-awareness of our relative lack of knowledge, and a desire to avoid dogma and intolerance.

All of those values originated from how I was raised by my parents and the Mennonite Church, but even as I grow older and leave home and have the chance to make my own decisions about my identity, I realize that those are values that I want to seize hold of and live into. I sincerley appreciate the Mennonite church.