Taking Judgement In A Positive Way
Most people judge others based on their own inner insecurities. This has been a universal issue which causes most specifically body issues. These issues grow based on how one presents themselves. Every individual has their own story and own experiences which enables the way one perceives others and how it will not be similar/same to another individuals. Each individual will arrange another in their very own way inside the limits/points of social construction relying upon their weaknesses, encounters and what is imperative to them, thus you can never be immaculate in someone else’s eyes. Being considered different and being judged by others is never-ending in a social construct and being judged is not automatically something that should be taken negatively. Events in my life have shown me that judgement can be taken in many different ways, I choose to take it in a positive way for self appreciation and reflecting on myself. Living in a time where people come from different communities and racial backgrounds that are influenced by western society and culture, each person has different outlooks and perspectives on how they look at other beings; it is a person’s inner views that are influenced by personal experiences, and culture which leads me to have a more content positive outlook on myself as a person.
As a child it was always encouraged that children say what they wanted to say. My parents taught me to always keep an open mind towards everyone around me and to never judge someone right off the bat, being approachable and presentable was always a goal because you never know who you’d run into that day. I’ve always had a very talkative personality, the ability to speak with others and approach and start conversations was something I took initiative in. Many people have taken this aspect of my personality in different ways. Starting conversations was always easier for me than it was for my fellow peers, my liveliness has always been a valuable quality for me. In my community being opinionated was a female is not something that is liked. My dad always told me to speak up for what I believe in and if someone is pushing me that I should push back. I remember one time when I wore a certain outfit to a dinner at my aunt’s house, my parents never had a problem with the way I dressed but my aunt who is very conventional compared to my parents took me aside and told me to go and change into one of my cousins clothes because what I was wearing was to revealing and when I gave my opinion on what she was saying and pushing back everyone thought I was a loud mouth for talking back instead of staying quiet and listening. That day onwards I learned that people and specifically women have been taught or forced to believe that they should always be silent and meek with their opinions or thoughts. In western culture we are pushing for uniformity and ensuring both young men and young ladies are representing themselves. My aunt experienced childhood in a period and place where ladies were calmer. It was a given for her as an Sri Lankan lady to be unobtrusive. Her childhood conveyed her to pass judgment on what and how I was talking.
Affluent individuals in society are often impressed by my spirited personality. As a tennis coach portraying an athletic modern image is vital to the experience we want to provide to the customers, influencing the way we are perceived. Wealthier individuals expect very high class service which makes younger newer coaches like such as myself work harder to go above and beyond for the job description so we are liked. Wanting to impress them we change our looks, wear more expensive athletic wear, and be more confident and increase our sociability. Socially, people with high financial principles are required to dress well, be decisive and agreeable. As someone who is very outgoing, I strengthen my sociability by encouraging myself to wear certain clothing and do my makeup properly every day. It is important as a coach that I relate to the person I am teaching; not specifically relatable wealth and socioeconomically but be able to keep up conversations and communication.
When they judge me I take it positively because it pushes me to wear matching shoes with my tennis outfit and coordinate the colours accordingly because people look at those extra details. I do them to feel good about myself, and it benefits me when I meet people who are socioeconomically wealthier than I am because they relate to me because I try to make myself up the way they would.
Choosing my outfits based on the mood I’m in is something I pick daily depending on how I am feeling, yet one thing I cannot change about my look is that I am very tiny. Throughout my life I have a lot of people both males and females, who would categorize me for the way i look, more specifically my body. Females can appreciate another woman’s skills on style and makeup but then look the other way and make rude comments to bring a girl down. This negative desire comes from one’s own feelings of jealousy and insecurity. Simultaneously men can look at my body and admire me because of how small I am and that is considered good looking, but then also look the other way and make negative comments about my character. Negative comments always stem from people who envy that specific women/man in that scenario and for men it is a sexualizatipn of a females body which has come from advertisements (i. e. Victoria’s Secret models). Living in a day and age where women are seen as sexualized objects attracted to my physique as averse to my personality and clothing. Western society has been persuaded internationally in the sense that marketing companies have used small women to sell items because they are considered sexy individuals.
Media portrays these type of women as indecent and coarse. Many times I have been an example to my other cousins on why they should eat so that they don’t end up looking my myself. I was being judged because many peoples experience was that people like and admire women with more “meat to there bone”, busty women are seen as more attractive compared to smaller women. Busty women often are seen as prettier or more well shaped and fit in society because they didn’t look like they were a ‘stick’. People’s judgement were that I did not eat a lot and that meant there was something wrong with me and my choice to wear the outfits that I wore was because I wanted more attention. I have also seen that individuals that come from higher socioeconomic backgrounds sometimes try to be more like the people portrayed in media. There was a point in my life where I had people come up to me and ask if I was okay because of how skinny I was even though I was eating properly and I did not feel like there was anything wrong with me. People are willing to go ahead and ask a person these questions because they feel as though in there mind someone who is tiny is not okay. People have judged me based on my body type and expect me to want to change and get bigger because in other’s eyes I should want to change.
The effects of how judgements can influence one decidedly or adversely can originate from one’s ethnicity, what somebody has experienced, and the financial status of the ones around you. The judgments you get will be founded on the way that everybody has their own point of view and as it were, you can’t satisfy each individual. You should locate an upbeat parity from what you hear, what you see, and what you say. Discovering balance is intense in light of the fact that loved ones say something one way and mean something totally unique and regularly dismiss the way that I have been brought up in an unexpected setting in comparison to them. With the blended study that I have gotten in the previous couple of years, I have figured out how to take the positive and negative sides from my judgments and to remain content with how I am.
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