A Tale About My Father And My Sister

My father had been going through a breakup with his girlfriend, who he'd been with for 4 years and had a daughter together; my sister. He had completely changed after they decided to end things, became very depressed and started to drink almost everyday.

One Friday after school he picked me up and looked quite troubled, that night he held me in his arms and cried the whole night. I thought he was just in a lot of pain from his separation but it later became clear to me that, he was saying goodbye. 2 days later he seemed normal and we went to the grocery store together but he said something out of the blue to me. He said, “no matter what happens, go to school and become successful.” I thought nothing of it at the time and agreed cheerfully.

When we arrived home I started to unpack the groceries while he started making lunch. My stepmom brought my baby sister to spend the day with us which was great, but my smile soon dropped when a small argument broke out between her and my dad. When they stopped talking, I continued to unpack the groceries, when I suddenly heard her shouting in fear. I turned around quickly to see the most frightful scene.

My dad grabbed her by the hair and was dragging her into his room, I started to cry hysterically, begging him to stop but anger had already taken over and my voice just couldn’t reach him. My sister stayed in the kitchen watching her family fight. Every time I came closer to him, he'd pushed me away . Daddy didn’t hurt me, he was just trying to get me out of the way.

My older cousin who was sleeping upstairs rushed down to help free my stepmom. She escaped once and the look of fear on her face broke my heart, she was begging for us to help her, but we couldn't, my dad had already grabbed her and was dragging her back into the room, that’s when we noticed he had a weapon in his hand. He looked at me for one second and I could see the sadness in his eyes. I knew if he looked at me any longer he’d come to his senses and drop everything.

Then, just as quickly as he looked into my eyes, he broke eye contact and looked away. He pulled her into the room once more and my cousin started to frantically push me to the door, I managed to grab my sister and before I reached the door.. That was the moment a loud bang rang out, echoing through the house. I ran upstairs to where my other family members were standing, frozen, shocked. I was crying so loud all the neighbours could hear me.

Before the police came, I heard that my father was still alive but that my stepmom was gone. I walked into my home, alone and afraid and as I walked into the room where it had all happened, I saw my dad laying on top of my stepmoms body, he was gasping for air. I was too scared to go too close. I walked into the room and held onto my father's feet fearing that if I touched him he would get hurt. Quickly, I started to feel dizzy and ran out of the room in shock. I later learnt that my father had taken his own life.

I had to attend two burials. A piece of me left with each of them. All that was on my mind was how I needed to stay strong for my baby sister and take care of her. After that day my life has changed, I have to go to counselling meetings, and I receive daily messages from people asking me if I’m okay?.... Am I okay!?!.... I know this is them caring but it is hard to answer and tell them, 'no, I am not okay!'.

I had to witness all of this and I've lost everything. Even my sister has been taken away from my family and I, and there's nothing I can do about it because I'm also a minor. My heart aches everyday and I feel empty. I miss my dad so much and I feel incredible pain when I think of my stepmom. They were supposed to get married this year.

My father left letters that I never even got to read because the police station is holding onto them - not allowing me to get closure. I later on also found out that my father was being teased about his separation by his colleagues at the police station where he and my stepmother both worked as police officers. I feel angry, sad and have a lot of feelings that I just cannot explain, but I've been keeping my head high, living in hope that one day, I will get my sister back and return to my home where all of my memories with my dad are.

I look up to the sky and I feel hope. I know that they are watching over me. And I hope that they’ve forgiven each other for their mistakes, and that God had mercy on my father’s soul for the Sin that he committed. I am young and afraid but I’ve been blessed with strength and with that I keep on living. R.I.P Michael Youksee and Rackel Kipps.