Mind In The Making: The Seven Essential Life Skills Every Child Needs

In a fast-changing world, only our higher-level thinking ability can keep us mindful, occupied, and developing. Ellen Galinsky, the author of, Mind in the Making, The Seven Essential Life Skills, educates information taught above decades of psychological research into how humans acquire information throughout the lifespan. The seven essential skills she educates here, as well as displays with a remarkable video of outstanding psychological experiments, are helpful tools for acclimating to, learning from, and booming within a world in hasty change. The seven essential life skills learned are: Focus and Self-Control, Perspective Taking, Communicating, Making Connections, Critical Thinking, Taking on Challenges, and Self Directed, Engaged Learning. All these play a huge role and are really essential, but what really stood out for me was essential skill one: Focus and Self-Control.

Focus and Self-Control is the thinking skill that assists children assimilate to control their emotions and behaviors in order to make good choices, while supporting in lowering abruptive actions and dealing efficiently with frustration (Randy Kullman, 2018). For instance, a child may use self-control when coming across a challenging problem on a test. Rather than imprudently writing down any answer, they are able to control their anxiety and figure out the answer. Also, video games enable kids to practice their self-control skills while in the middle of a fun and profoundly appealing gaming experience. Many games necessitate that players block themselves from intriguing in a one favorable action in order to gain a distinct path on a new level. Correspondingly, the capacity to handle vexation is an intrinsic part of the learning process in a well-made video game.

This essential skill consists of four different abilities which are: focus, cognitive flexibility, working memory, and inhibitory control. Focus alludes to attention and requires being alert and aligning. As well as concentration being a huge part of focus as children get older. Cognitive flexibility refers to someone being able to alter the focus of their attention, change perspectives and even adapt to changing situations, priorities or requests. Certainly, it is just the capability of one’s brain, thinking and acting to adapt to things that happen. Working memory is like a holding cell in one’s brain where one holds information that they can resume alteration and update as needed. When working memory is grown, one is able to hold information in their head, add to it, eliminate things when they are finished and think about what needs to be done to achieve each task. It also assists one to connect between concepts or experiences to things that have been already learned or previous experiences. Inhibitory control means the ability to stop oneself from doing things. These abilities are helpful when one is faced with a difficult task and is desirous to give up. It helps make one perform in suitable ways and by directly ending and taking stock before acting.

In a analysis carried out by Galinsky, she realized that 35 percent of fifth through 12th graders felt stressed frequently or very frequently. 39 percent of the same kids felt their parents were often stressed (Aretha Franklin, 1999). Researchers discovered that stress makes it more difficult to focus and sustain self-control. Children who control stress better focus better. The question is, why are children and parents stressed? There are many personal and different reasons, but a frequent address is that there is just so many things that are going on. The whole of technology, work, school, and family each battle for their attention. At the same time, some might question how children can be stressed, keep in mind that children are perceiving and experiencing the world for the first time and there are a lot of distractions and interference in a modern world. Galinsky points out that, in this world of so much distraction, it is essential for parents to assist their children develop focus and self-control. Galinsky also mentions that a child's capability to pay attention is probably the best predictor of their future intellectual functioning.

There are so many ways in which I want to improve this skill, however it is not easy. Some goals and ways that I can improve this skill are by: removing temptation, measuring my progress, learn to manage stress, prioritize things, and forgive myself. No one is wired to withstand temptation, a study found that the way most people resist temptation is to get rid of the temptation. According to a study by the American Psychological Association, “training self-control through repeated practice does not result in generalized improvements in self-control” (Miles, E., Sheeran, P., Baird, H., Macdonald, I., Webb, T. L., & Harris, P. R., 2016). So I have to stop beating myself up for not having much self-control, we are not wired for it. It helps to make decisions automatic and self-reinforcing, so I can focus on priorities and decisions that matter more.

Another way is by measuring my progress. Monitoring my progress would keep me focused on my goals. It will also assists me become knowledgeable on my own behavior, and it makes my habits less difficult to control and change. Learning to manage my stress by stopping and taking a few deep breaths and to ensure to exercise regularly, eat well, and get enough sleep. This would improve my focus, cognitive function, and health. I also love to procrastinate and do last minute things, so prioritizing will help me as well. I can start by making a to-do list or go along with my planner. Most importantly, forgive myself. I am going to fail and failing is a part of life. Forgiving myself and moving on will help because beating myself up and worrying achieves nothing, it is just wasted energy.

With children, there are some ways I can help improve this skill. Children prosper on schedules, habits, and routines, which not only builds a feeling of security, but as well as assist them learn self-control and focus (Vivian L. Gadsden, Morgan Ford, and Heather Breiner,2016). Talking with the child about what to anticipate each day. For instance, organizing their home so the child knows where to put her shoes, coat, and personal belongings. We live in a boisterous, distraction-filled world so some indoor quiet activities, such as reading a book or finishing a puzzle together can help the child slow down and increase focus.

Being able to control bodies, emotions and actions is a skill children need to learn. I can assist young children learn these skills by understanding what techniques help them calm and persuade them to engage those techniques when they need them or when they are beginning to lose control. Also, lots of games or activities can assist children perform focus and self-control. For instance, guessing games, I spy, red light-green light, and musical chairs are all great ways games to practice focus and self-control. Another one being, encouraging the child’s interest. Also, reading stories to young children that encourage them to listen and focus can help them develop these important skills.

Supporting pretend play is another way to improve this skill. When children pretend, they have to use working memory to remember their “character” or other characteristics of their story. They also use cognitively flexibility in their creative expression during pretend play. Helping children create plans and go with them. Persuade them to choose on a plan of action, follow through with it and then check in with them afterwards. Lastly, playing games that do not follow regular rules or anticipation, or alter the rules halfway through. These types of games keep children on their toes and necessitates them to pay attention in order to remember what they are supposed to do.

Overall, being high in managing our aspiration and inspiration is essential in fulfilling the goals I set for myself. Although, it is logical to conclude that those higher in self-control would have higher grades, research has in fact found self-control to surpass even intelligence in predicting good academic performance. This is mainly because young people high in self-control spend more time doing their homework, have higher school attendance, focus in class more, and have higher grades (Duckworth & Seligman, 2005). On the other hand, low self-control is connected to a variation of difficulties, containing academic underachievement, an unhealthy lifestyle, procrastination and problems with the law (Moffitt et al., 2011).