How To Go Through Life Without Fighting
With all the joyful information there is always a lot of compassion. The festive moments have their share of instant despair. That’s life. The encouraging exchange of a pregnancy and the hope of a new life that must be born have an effect that causes reflection on those who have suffered poorly, stillborn or infertility. It is impossible to rationalize the depth of pain in the loss of a neonatal life, that of a hope that will never disappear that is not fulfilled.
Good news for some is never good news for everyone. When parents praise the academic brilliance when they receive a scholarship, they are once again reminded of an advisory board of parents who have a child who will never reach such a thing. Parents of children with special needs face a pain that never happens because the memories of their loss are repeated every day. The same goes for parents with a teenager or a young adult who has passed through the railroad. It is a shame at the same time as Joy reigns.
However, the paradox of life is new: those who fight early in life thrive later, and those who have prospered early can often fight later. Very few people go through life without fighting. This time, when you’re single, and a best friend tells you the wonderful news that you’re busy getting married, you can’t help but feel lonely right now. Something deep in a single person cries out this news because they know that the relationship will change drastically, and often the married friend can have no idea, or even annoying, that his only friend changes do not accept and can continue.
For the divorced person, each reminder for a “success” family should remind them of the failure that time cannot rub. But you know very well that “success” families are not always what they seem, because there are skeletons in the closet around the world. They are simply exposed, and this exposure may have been appropriate for a courage growth journey to become vulnerable. It’s the same with people with the annoying family dynamics that you see when other families get along. There’s a palpable pain. Separated families constantly face pain without living relatives, and it is doubly worse when it is out of control.
By announcing a safe position within a company or at a meeting or school, the type of position you have often asked for has gone to another person. Part of the disappointment can be the shock of hearing the news when we also experience that others are universally joyful in such messages. It’s insulating when everyone’s famous and you’re in the shock of the news that you didn’t expect. When we put an older parent in an institution of care of age, there is the sadness of a diminished life in this father, but those who lost their parents well before the age could be tired. You can think quietly: “Well, at least you’ve had the last 20 years. Nothing bad, just reality.
The opposite happens when someone can escape their pain or trauma and seems to go ahead. Some would be tempted to give advice to these people: be positive, Count Your Blessing, or provide some simplistic snapshots. Of course, everything falls flat, because the board comes from a person who is very poorly positioned to comment. The test is the heart’s position to give advice to someone who has exhausted all the simplistic solutions. In cases where the complexity is overwhelming, the Council is not working well. If someone’s relationship goes to Gangbuster and there is in the toilet, or if they are cared for and pampered, but there is a flood of abuse or a sea of neglect without a horizon.
The good news for some is never good news for everyone. It is important at this time to acknowledge our feelings of disappointment in the midst of the celebration and not immediately surrender to guilt or shame, but to legitimize and let the feelings have a place. We feel what we feel and the feelings have the purity to appreciate. Feelings show us who we are, that God has given us for a reason. God wants us to feel.
Our opportunity to share the good news is to make an important U-Turn from those to anticipate the impact. Of course, we are not responsible for how people change, but we can be as good as we share it. We can anticipate disappointment in others, even if we are ecstatic, and legitimize the process of the authentic fabric of another, is to forge the depth of confidence. It’s okay to be disappointed, and better to acknowledge it, we’re trying not to stay there. Of all this, however, the Lord is the god of the excluded, the abandoned, the atypical, the solitary. He remains with us through all our adversities.
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