Forced Marriage: The Issues Of Being In An Arranged Marriage

Imagine waking up to a stranger for the rest of your life. Marriage. Such a small word, yet is “supposed” to be one of the biggest days of ones life. However, imagine marriage being one of the scariest days of ones life. A day that one dreads, fears and has tried to avoid. Unfortunately, in certain countries there are things that exist such as forced marriage. Although, there are plenty of definitions of forced marriage one that clearly explains what it is, is defined as a union where one or both parties are coerced into a marriage against their will and under duress (Sabbe, A., Temmerman, M., Brems, E., & Leye, E. (2014). Forced marriages although affect both parties, women are mostly affected in many ways. The psychological effects it leaves on women, the abuse, the break of the family and how it is inhumane and an illegal practice in many countries. Psychological Effects Forced marriage leaves women devastated and leaves psychological effects that prolong throughout their entire life. 

Common psychological effects of forced marriage are feelings of depressed mood, irritability, low self-esteem, rage and frustration, sleep problems, difficulty in forming relationships and difficulty trusting others (Rele, K. 2007)). Forced marriage causes one to be depressed due to the fact that they are being coerced into spending the rest of their lives with someone else. They have not found love themselves but ended up having love found for them, without any choice, direction or guidance they are forced to make the lifetime commitment. In most countries, this element of duress can include physical, psychological, financial, sexual and emotional pressure (Sabbe, A., Temmerman, M., Brems, E., & Leye, E. 2014). Considering the levels of physical and psychological abuse frequently associated with forced marriage, the issue is perceived as a form of violence against women (Sabbe, A., Temmerman, M., Brems, E., & Leye, E. 2014). Forced marriage is practiced in africa & common in Asia where it is practiced as kidnapping and abduction (Mulumeoderhwa, M. 2016). Not only does this leave women scared but they are stripped of their freedom and left alone, to start a family without even their family. Unfortunately, plenty of forced marriages are started due to rape. Since abortion is not allowed in africa many women find themselves raising a son as a cause of sexual abuse (Mulumeoderhwa, M. 2016). 

Rape, is common in Afica and just alone bing forced to mary at a such age but then again having to raise a chid with someone and force to marry them. Women are stripped of their rights as human beings and are not allowed to do anything that men can do. For example, a woman is not allowed to sleep out (have relations with a man who is not their husband) or they must marry them (Mulumeoderhwa, M. 2016). If the man decides to not forcefully marry you then you are looked upon as an abomination and that you disappointed your family. Unfortunately, plenty of families exploit their daughters and prostitute them in order to gain money (Mulumeoderhwa, M. 2016). The amount of pressure that women feel that constantly in order to preserve their virginity to honor their families and to not engage with any man that is not their husband is truly terrifying. These women live in fear and constantly are put in isolation. In fact, the number one psychological effect is isolation (Rele, K. 2007). These women once are married against their will are isolated from their families and since are married so long are taken out of school in order to become wives. There have been instances where the victims have been withdrawn from education, thus restricting their personal and educational development (Rele, K. 2007). Unfortunately, all these circumstances leave these women petrified and never the same, all the hurt, pain they must endure leaves them hopeless. Abuse As if the psychological effects were not enough these women also go through plenty of abuse. From physical abuse all the way to sexual. Many behavior indicators of forced marriage resemble those of domestic violence (Brock, M., Library of Congress. Federal Research Division, & National Institute of Justice U.S. 2018). 

Women are often unable to exit forced marriages because of continued gender surveillance after marriage, social norms against divorce in some communities, and immigration control in the case of immigrant women (Gill, Aisha K., and Sundari Anitha 2011). Women are constantly abused by their spouse in forced marriages, especially if the male did not want to marry but was forced due to pregnancy, arranged or family wise. Not only do women and girls more often experience forced marriage, the impact is more serious on women and girls than on men, as they are much more likely to be confronted with domestic violence, sexual abuse and rape (Sabbe, A., Temmerman, M., Brems, E., & Leye, E. (2014. An example, of the abuse was a woman stoned to death for being pregnant (Films Media Group, 2005). An example of the abuse was a woman who was forced to marry and for 13 years she was trapped in a loveless marriage with a man who would taunt her, hit her and emotionally abused her; a man she was forced to marry, by her parents (Life, 2008). If a woman is forced into a marriage she can receive physical abuse not only from her spouse but also from their mother in law, family, siblings or other outsiders. If a woman does not wish to go with the person that the family chose for her she must be exiled (Films Media Group, 2005). Unfortunately, plenty of verbal abuse happens as well, these women fear their lives everyday because of a choice that is simply out of their hands. For example, in cambodia children are separated from their parents. The Angkar controlled women's and men's sexuality and relationships, forbidding any pre-marital or extra-marital contact with the opposite sex (Toy-Cronin, B. 2010). This is neglect from the parents from depriving their daughters of having any real human intera tion with anyone of the opposite sex which indeed is a form of abuse to women emotionally. Break of Family Unfortunately, a forced marriage is usually arranged by a family. Families use this practice for a variety of reasons. However, the main one is to honor their family. 

Parents want to gain income from daughters Mulumeoderhwa, M. (2016). Families take the virginity of their daughters extremely serious and find it to be more important than their daughter themselves. Preserving girls virginity in order to honor family (Mulumeoderhwa, M. 2016). Pregnancy means a check in these developing countries which families will tend to want in order to trap men into maintaining these women (Mulumeoderhwa, M. 2016). Women are seen as trade offs for example if one owes money to someone else and they do not have it, they will trade their daughter and her virginity in order to pay off the debt (Gill, Aisha K., and Sundari Anitha 2011). It is argued that women’s ability to consent can be mediated by factors such as poverty, for example in the context of bride price, where women are often positioned as conduits for family survival (Gill, Aisha K., and Sundari Anitha 2011). In the video Speak Sweetly Eat Sugar, the father expresses how he feels like none of his children love him. Later on, the daughter confirmed and says that since he forced her to be in a marriage she lost the love of all his children (Films Media Group, 2005). In the same video another woman speaks out about how she ran away from her house because she was no longer allowed to do anything and was soon going to be forced to marry an older man (Films Media Group, 2005). Her mother beat her for liking someone and beat her to the point where she ran away and has not contacted them (Films Media Group, 2005). She claims to be terrified if they find her due to them maybe wanting revenge or trying to kill her (Films Media Group, 2005). 

The people that are supposed to keep these women safe are the same ones selling them and ruining their future. All this, in order to have money. Sometimes young people are taken overseas by family on the false pretext of a family holiday or the wedding of a relative but are in fact to be married themselves (Clark, B., & Richards, C. 2008). Women have no one to trust, not even their own families. The bonds with fathers are broken because the daughters have resentment towards them. Women have suicidal tendencies and would rather die than live their lives with people who they do not love. A forced marriage is forced love which causes conflict within both parties. Laws against Forced Marriage Although, there has been more research and laws made it has not been enough to stop the cruelty of this crime. Forced marriage is widely recognised as a human rights abuse, violating a number of international human rights norms, including the right to freely enter into marriage, and to bodily and sexual integrity (Sabbe, A., Temmerman, M., Brems, E., & Leye, E. 2014). The practice itself is already seen as illegal and not only does it abuse human norms but is a violation of one's integrity of humans themselves. Forced marriages are often represented as matters of slavery, crimes against humanity, women and children’s rights, or human trafficking (Bunting, A., Lawrance, B. N., & Roberts, R. L. 2016). 

Since women are seen as basically as objects and as a transaction forced marriage can clearly fall in the category of human trafficking due to it being without one parties consent. Not only is the marrige itself illegal but everything else that combines with it, such as common assault, cruelty to persons under 16, failure to secure regular attendance at school of a registered pupil, child abduction, rape or kidnapping (Clark, B., & Richards, C. 2008). Conclusion All in all, forced marriages affect women in a variety ways. The psychological factors that come into play, plus the trauma of the abuse to broken families and the extremity of this practice even being deemed illegal. Forced love is never any good type of love. Forced marriage should be banned from all countries and should receive more attention. Although, we might not live in fear for marriage, it is others worst nightmare.