The Influence Of Parents On Nature Of Narcissistic Children

At parents of a narcissus the love to it is ALWAYS conditional. They love him for something and demand it for something, they love him unconditionally. He does not know that parents love other children simply because “this is my child”, respectively, he has no experience of unconditional love. At the same time, the narcissistic parent also rejects the natural love that exists inside each normal child to his parent, and devalues her as something insignificant. There is a destruction of understanding that there is true love. Instead, the concepts of "lust", "passion", "thirst for possession" and the like, taken for love, appear.

All people sometimes worry about what others think of them and this is normal. But with narcissus, all life is built around the approval of other people. His emotional state and image of the I depend on the acceptance or rejection of someone there. Because he did not receive a base warm unconditional approval from his parents, no matter how hard he tried. Moreover, his nascent individuality was destroyed by his parents, because they worried them too much and prevented him from managing the child. Therefore, positive emotions and a good opinion of yourself have nothing to “glue”, there is no personality framework without constant approval, praise cannot be maintained for a long time.

Narcissism is inherited. Behavior patterns adopted in the family and presented as the only correct ones will be used by an adult child. Most likely, he will find himself a code-dependent person as a spouse and will raise children with the same characteristics.

Parents perceive children as their own continuation, carrying compensatory (compensating for some gaps) functions. The “continuation of oneself” in the person of the child is called upon to solve the unsolved psychological problems of the parents instead of themselves. Gradually, the child loses himself and, as he grows up, begins to search for people in order to hang on them the same compensatory function and fill in the internal voids. To this end, he seeks to get the most delicious (tasty, because he trivially eats it) the main sacrifice, which will always be near and in which there is enough life to have enough food.

To guarantee that the narcissus will not face a terrifying emptiness within itself - there must be several such victims at once. If a narcissus cannot appropriate a very appetizing and desired sacrifice for emotional control at a distance (the so-called love extraterrestrial energy bond, from which the victim is sickening and incomprehensible, and the narcissus blooms and smells) - he acquires this person as a thing and puts it near himself. A simple example: an ugly elderly man of short stature marries a beautiful young woman 180 cm tall. He experiences himself beautiful by owning a beautiful object. In the end, it hurts the woman, because as soon as the object ceases to perform the function that he wants her narcissus, he ruthlessly and without experience throws it out. It may just disappear, and at the same time he has no feelings of guilt, feelings about the state of the one he threw ... Because the narcissus does not have an understanding that the other has his own feelings. For him, the other was part of himself with the plus assigned by the narcissus. Narcissus does not understand that someone is suffering and does not understand that he suffers himself. He feels himself in the absolute right to use others at his discretion, others are inanimate things.