In Pursuit of Unhappiness: Exploring Many Ideas of Happiness

Everyone wants to be happy in their life, yet few people know what happiness means or how to strive for it. In his article “In Pursuit of Unhappiness,” Darrin M. McMahon argues that being altruistic is happiness. Meanwhile “True happiness isn’t about being happy all the time,” an article by Lowri Dowthwaite, concurs stating that committing to the greater good equates happiness. On the other hand, Kid Cudi’s song “Pursuit of Happiness” demonstrates a dissimilar definition of happiness. Through his song and music video, he appears to be “happy” when drinking and partying until the end where he is shown to be remorseful. In his article “Inner Contentment,” Howard C. Cutler and the Dalai Lama had conversed a lot about desire and self-worth. The Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso, believes that people can achieve happiness through contentment. In other words, happiness can be gained through having a sense of acceptance and gratitude. Furthermore, from the article “The Science of Finding Happiness,” Eric Barker claims that happiness can be secured by having meaning. Meanwhile “Love Yourz,” a song by J. Cole, displays that family and being with one’s loved ones are key to gaining happiness. He further argues that wealth, greed, and envy will not bring one happiness. In short, happiness is an unstable, positive emotion not found in money, drugs, alcohol, or possessions, but instead is rooted in selfless acts and the little things in life; it is obtained through contentment, appreciation, meaning, and finding comfort in kin.

First, happiness is about living selflessly. In life, the happiest folks are not centered on their happiness. As philosopher John Stuart Mill stated, “‘Those only are happy,’ he came to believe, ‘who have their minds fixed on some object other than their own happiness… Aiming thus at something else, they find happiness by the way’” (Mill qtd in McMahon 738-739). He equates happiness to not being self-centered. Thus, this suggests that being happy is not rooted in the acquisition of things or socioeconomic status, but from a different and external source. Selflessness is the key to happiness. Though it may seem ineffective or against one’s expectations, true happiness entails doing something, whether it is for others or not, without expectation of compensation. Doing something unselfish brings with it contentment like no other.

Also, McMahon demonstrates that materialism is not happiness. He writes, “Sociologists like to point out that the percentage of those describing themselves as ‘happy’ or ‘very happy’ has remained virtually unchanged… since such surveys were first conducted in the 1950’s” (McMahon 738). Materialism is the philosophy that considers material possessions in high regard; materialistic people may deem physical comfort as important and central to being happy. By pointing out this statistic, McMahon is saying that, even though people nowadays have better living standards, more pleasures, and more merchandise in life, present-day people are not any happier then way back when (McMahon 738). People have everything they could ever want, but they are not happy. Meaning, people who rely solely on consumption to be happy are not happy. The reality is, materialism and pleasure is not happiness, community is. Humans are social animals and need fulfilling relationships to prosper. Materials can not love one back; they are not friends nor family. It is important to realize that this does not mean that one should not buy anything or treat themselves. But what are money, nice cars, and a large house without anyone to share it with? Ultimately, the idea that one will be happy after obtaining this or that is unrealistic because happiness is a state of mind, not an end.

Moreover, temporary happiness caused by money, drugs, or alcohol is not true happiness. In his song, Kid Cudi states that “I’ll be fine once I get it, get it in, I’ll be good” (Kid 19). In the music video for his song, he is shown getting high and getting drunk. Kid Cudi believes that once he has taken a hit or a drink, everything will be okay. He will have no worries, he will be happy. But, not only is acting out at the moment without any thought of the consequences is dangerous, he will only experience short term good feelings. Though these activities may seem promising, these only bring him down in the end. He raps, “Tell me what you know about the night terrors every night / 5 A-M cold sweats, waking up to the sky” (Kid 25-26). According to these lyrics, Kid Cudi may be going through alcohol withdrawal. Alcohol withdrawal is a symptom marked by anxiety, sweating, shaky hands, insomnia, headache, vomiting, nausea, seizures, hallucinations, and delusions. The “night terrors” and “5 A-M cold sweats” would be caused by insomnia, sweating, and hallucinations alcohol withdrawal would put one through. This suggests that Kid Cudi stopped drinking after a heavy period of alcohol consumption. He might have felt terrible afterward and even went back to drinking in hopes of getting that high he once felt. It is true, Cudi can have fake happiness and pleasure when intoxicated but once he is sober, he is back to feeling terrible, empty, and regretful. His so-called happiness has brought him nothing but pain.

Furthermore, happiness is experiencing frequent, changing positive emotions. Martin Seligman, the founding father of positive psychology, states that happiness “implies a positive mindset in the present and an optimistic outlook for the future” (Dowthwaite 2). This passage indicates that happiness comes with positive thinking. It is a psychological mindset to expect good and positive results and not to be disappointed if plans do not occur as intended. It is an attitude that focuses on the good and the positive, not the negative. It means trying again and refusing to accept defeat. Of course, one can not keep up with this positive mindset and outlook all the time. People can feel differing and wavering levels of happiness. It is a state of mind that is changeable which one can work on. Dowthwaite further argues that there are two types of “feeling happy, the hedonistic and the eudaimonic” (Dowthwaite 6). Hedonists believe happiness is about maximum pleasure and an absence of pain. In other words, being self-indulgent and materialistic. Just as said before, materialism and pleasure is not happiness and neither is self-centeredness. Markedly, people are often bombarded by advertisements that seek to define happiness as having all these possessions and apparent goods. So people often trade in meaning and purpose for this short-lived pleasure. And are often left disappointed and unfulfilled. On the other hand, eudaimonics believe that one should “live authentically and for the greater good” (Dowthwaite 7). This recalls McMahon’s argument of being focused on something self-denying. Eudaimonic holds that happiness is something more than one’s self. By having meaning and purpose by contributing to something other than oneself, one will see that this is genuine happiness. Selfless acts is a happiness that lasts. Now, armed with a more realistic and current understanding of happiness, there are plenty of ways people can use to achieve happiness. While happiness may sometimes feel elusive or out of reach, this does not make it an impossible journey or goal to accomplish. On the contrary, happiness may be right around the corner.

To be happy, people must have a strong sense of contentment. Contentment is a state of lasting satisfaction. It is a matter of being fulfilled with one has. In his article, Cutler presents an example of how contentment can create happiness. In the year 1994, Christopher Reeve, an American actor, was thrown off a horse and suffered a spinal cord injury, leaving him completely paralyzed from the neck down (Cutler 746). Although he dealt with depression and despair due to his disability, he managed to adjust to his feelings of despair, “ I realized that the only way to go through life is to look at your assets, to see what you can still do” (Reeve qtd in Cutler 746). Reeve eventually “sincerely considered himself to be a ‘lucky guy,’” demonstrating self-acceptance teaches one to be content (Reeve qtd in Cutler 746). And that happiness and self-acceptance go hand in hand. That is to say, because he is self-accepting, he is happy; self-acceptance determines happiness. The more self-acceptance people possess, the more people will be in a position to acquire happiness. In other words, people experience as much happiness as they think they can have.

Also, the Dalai Lama expresses that to achieve contentment, one must appreciate what one has. He states that “excessive desires lead to greed” and along with it “a feeling of frustration, disappointment, a lot of confusion, and a lot of problems” (Gyatso qtd in Cutler 746). One should always reflect on what will “ultimately result[s] in positive or negative consequences” (Gyatso qtd in Cutler 745). Being greedy means always wanting and having what one desires. But greed is not satisfied by obtaining. There will always be a limit, an item one wants but is not able to obtain. And when that happens, what does that lead to? Unhappiness. The result of greed is discontentment and difficulties. The more wants one has, the less appreciative one is and therefore, unhappy. Such a mindset lets go of many good things in one's life because of a desire to have even better things. On the other hand, contentment promotes happiness, by allowing an individual to be happy through the feeling of fulfillment. If one has a strong sense of contentment, it would not matter if one has obtained the object or not; one is still happy. Thus, having inner contentment will enable one to feel happy regardless.

Additionally, giving or finding meaning to one’s life makes one happy. Meaning is derived by contributing to others or society in a greater way. It is more about being a giver rather than a taker. Barker observed, “When people who clean hospitals stopped thinking about emptying trash cans and instead saw themselves as contributing toward sick people getting better, emptying those same trash cans became engaging and meaningful” (Barker 28). This illustrates that perception dictates whether or not one is going to feel satisfied. Although the facts can not be manipulated, one has power over how one interprets them. Thinking about the results of one’s work or the value it can bring to others will make any job a calling, a purpose. That is the perspective that gives meaning and happiness. It is not about what one does. It is the way one thinks of what one does.

Moreover, one will never be truly happy until one learns to love what one has. In his song, rapper J.Cole states that there will “always gon’ be a bigger house somewhere” (J. 46). In the music video, it is shown that the once impoverished man is unhappy since he is focused on what he does not have. The man, though he has a child, a loving wife, shelter, and a car among other things, becomes disconsolate after seeing someone with an expensive Rolex watch on television. Yet, the poor man is so obsessed with the green grass on the other side that he can not see that his grass has green as well. By doing this, J.Cole claims that to be happy is to not be envious. One should not be focused on what one does not have since it will prevent happiness. J. Cole also disproves that riches equates happiness, but family does. Although there is always going to be a bigger house, “‘Long as the people in that motherfucker love you dearly,” one can be happy (J. 47). In his music video, there was an affluent kid who bullied the impoverished kid. Though the affluent kid seems to have it all when he is out with his friends, he has a difficult home life. With parents who do not get along with each other and do not seem to care about their child, the rich kid can not find true happiness and is in anguish. In contrast, while the poor kid is bullied and does not have a lot in terms of money and material possessions, his family provides all the comfort, fun, and love he needs to be happy. The bonds one makes have an influence on one's well being and state of mind, including happiness.

J. Cole further explores this idea of happiness by stating that there is 'no such thing as a life that's better than yours' (J. 2). To put it differently, do not compare one's life to another. A comparison may lead to a feeling of relative deprivation, the lack of resources considered typical within a given socio-economic individual or group. One's life will always seem somewhat smaller when compared to another person who has more. He states, “and though some times we had less / compared to some of my niggas down the block we were blessed” (J. 13-14). So if people cannot acknowledge the worth of themselves and their own life, then people will not be able to cherish the amazing blessings they have and those coming their way. Therefore, one should learn to appreciate what one has. Appreciation enables positive life experiences to be savored. By savoring and taking pleasure in a number of the gifts of one’s life, one is able to extract the utmost attainable contentment and enjoyment from one’s current circumstances. Appreciation thus creates happiness. A person who loves what they have will be happy no matter what they have or do not have.

Happiness is a changeable, positive emotion not found in money, substances, or materials, but instead can be found in selfless deeds, community, and the little things in life. One cannot be happy all the time but can experience wavering levels of happiness. Happiness is not rooted in materialism or substance abuse but rather in making others happy. Given that humans do not live in disconnection or isolation, one has work colleagues, companions, families, and others with whom one interacts with frequently. One can make them happier by loaning them some assistance, thus, another might be cheerful and have the option to spread that satisfaction. And people are able to obtain happiness in certain ways. One is to count one’s blessings and learn to enjoy the simple things. The other is by learning to truly love and appreciate the gifts in one’s life. Likewise, spending time with family and friends is beneficial to your mental well-being. It is important to note that happiness does not just happen. It requires effort at times. Happiness does not just depend on external circumstances but also on one’s inner state of mind. Although human beings are not programmed to be happy, everyone can be happy. And to be happy, people need to enjoy what they have. Through one’s happiness, one has the potential to change numerous other lives just by being oneself.