Definition Of Attachment Theory And Types Of Child's Attachment To Their Parental Figures
Attachment theory is the capacity for a person to build an emotional and psychical desirability or bond to another person gives a sense of stability and security essential to take chances, diversify, grow, and progress as an individual.
My mother has always been my safe haven. From the time I was small, I knew I could depend on her for support, my necessaities, when I was scared, anything. I can’t recall a time that my mom was not there when I needed her. When I was picked on by brother, my mother always intervened. She was my safety net and I trusted her to be my protector.
There was an attachement injury that still bothers me to this day. I remember growing up when my body began to mature, before we knew my brother was BiPolar, my brother used to grab at my breast and butt. My mother would always punish him and try to teach him that was inappropriate. My father on the other hand o feel condoned the harassment and asault. Whenever I complained my father would say” oh he’s just playing with you”. I remember taking a shower and my brother burst in the bathroom, pulled the shower curtain back, and just stared at me. While trying to cover my body, I screamed so loud that I could be heard outside. My father rushed inside to see what happened and when I explained, he had the nerve to be made at me and yelled at me for yelling.
That day is the day I lost any secured attachment I had towardas him. He was no longer my protector. A non-extreme attachment injury I experienced, was working hard to achieve so many awards and achievements to be seen by my father. He somehow could never make it to my major accomplishments such as high school graduation, Navy bootcamp graduation, or my graduation for my Bachelor’s degree; however, he always found a way to make he to my brother and my sister’s high school graduation. Sometimes I felt I was not good enough. I am the middle child and always felt overlooked. I was the only one to graduate college and have a career. Granted he did tell me he was proud of me before the occasions but his actions said otherwise. These injuries have always plagued my mind and heart because my dad did not value me enough to protect me or to show up.
There are four patterns of attachment. The attachments are Secure, Ambivalent, Avoidant, and Disorganized.
Secure attachment is marked by distress when separated from caregivers and joy when the care giver returns. These children know their parent or caregiver will provide comfort and reassurance, so they are comfortable seeking them out in times of need.
Ambivalent attached children usually become very distressed when a parent leaves. These children cannot depend on their parent or caregiver to be there when the child is in need.
Children with an avoidant attachment tend to avoid parents and caregivers. When offered a choice, these children will show no preference between a caregiver and a complete stranger.
Children with disorganized attachment often display a confusing mix of behavior and may seem disoriented, dazed, or confused. Parents may serve as both a source of comfort and a source of fear, leading to disorganized behavior. The attachment style I had as a child was secure attachment with my mother.
Secure attachment occurs when children feel they can depend on their parent, guardian or caregiver to meet their needs. When I had to visit my grandma for the summer I would cry for the first week because I missed my mom, but I knew I would see here again. Secure attachment happens to be the most advantgeuos attachment style. I agree this attachment was very beneficial for me. My mother always saw the best in me, she uplifted me, protected me, and I knew she would always be there for me. I believe this helped shaped and mold me into being independent and self-sufficient. Many of my accomplishment were because of her presence, motivation, and support.
How loved or unloved we feel as children deeply affects the formation of our self-esteem and self-acceptance. The love from my mother was so much and so overflowing that it helped me to gain my self-esteem and self-confidence. To improve my attachment security with significant others in my life I need to be more open about my feelings and be sure that what I’m saying is actually being heard. It is imperative to acknowledge how what I am doing can negatively impact others. Attachment security shapes how we seek love and whether we feel part of life or more like an outsider.
I will try to connect with my significant others through shared activities. Knowing myself and continuing to build self-esteem will help me to develop things I am good at. This will encourage me to push myself out of my comfort zone. As we move through the lifespan, we form new attachment relationships with friends and partners. It is important to understand your own precocious and other insensible materials like emotions from memories.
Research suggests that failure to form secure attachments early in life can have a negative impact on behavior in later childhood and throughout life. My children have multiple caregivers that will help enhance their view of the world and see it from different perspectives. There is a survival advantage in the capacity to sense possible dangerous conditions such as being alone and unfamiliarity Meet children’s needs and be the one they can turn to. Care for the child demonstrates trustworthy, reliable, physically and emotionally available tot heir needs. Children know they can rely on me whenever they feel threatened or in danger. Give good, reliable, and stable foundation. Those who are securely attached in childhood tend to have a good self-esteem, strong romantic relationships, and the ability to self-disclose to others. This is one of my goals for my children, so as adults, they can have healthy, happy, and lasting relationships.
Researchers have found that attachment patterns established early in life can lead to a number of outcomes. Children who are securely attached as infants tend to develop stronger self-esteem and better self-reliance as they grow older. These children also tend to be more independent, perform better in school, have successful social relationships, and experience less depression and anxiety.
Everyone has an attachement to at least someone or something. I looked to my primary caregiver when I was scared and when I needed to feel protected. I felt comfortable around them when we were in social settings and looked at them for achievements. When an attachment is not stimulated at a young age, it may create upsetting effects, especially is the deficiency is with the primary caregiver (Prior and Glaser, 2006). To feel comfortable and safe around someone or something gives one a warm and fuzzy sense of security.
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