Childhood Memory That Shaped Me as a Person

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Childhood Memory That Shaped Me as a Person essay
Important: This sample is for inspiration and reference only

We all have childhood memories that we hold dear to us. These memories are what get us through the dark days and cheer us to keep going. Imagine how it would be if we lost those childhood memories. It would be sad because we would never learn from our mistakes. It is therefore vital to look back and try to recollect from the past as childhood experiences shape our personality. It is the past experiences that make us who we are.

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It was on a Saturday morning. The golden sun was spilling its light all over the land and the white clouds. My eyes were glued on TV as I tried to follow my favorite show when my best friend and classmate John entered. No sooner had he arrived than we burst out and joined my other two friends at the play station. My two other friends would spend an entire day at the PlayStation playing Crash Bandicoot. But this was not the day to spend at the PlayStation; John had other ideas.

The day was scorching as the sun climbed towards its zenith. We strolled down the river following each other like sheep, not knowing what was awaiting us. We had no swimming costumes meaning we were to swim in our underwear. I was not a good swimmer myself and would not get into river first. John is a fish. He dived into the deep end, and others joined. I was still nervous and was clinging on a twig on the river bank when my friends shouted at me and encouraged me to join them. I was hesitant, but they promised to be my lifeguard.

I gathered courage and took a deep breath and jumped into the waters kicking with both legs and stroking with my arms. It was a good start, but this did not last long. I was getting tired and was running out of my breath. My friends noticed I was drowning to the deepest end and were worried. John dived as he tried to rescue me, but the running water took me further. It was getting harder for him to save me. The more my I tensed, the more I sank downstream. I was losing hope and bid my friends goodbye. My other two friends were crying for help. They had run out of options and helplessly watched as John tried to rescue me. Thank God it happened as John thrust me to the shallow end. I escaped death by a whisker.

I believe the whole experience was significant in my life. It challenged my belief in the supreme God. I was drowning and never thought I would make it, but I did. Since then, I have believed that there is God in heaven who is watching over us. He saved me from untimely death.

This essay is graded:
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Expert Review
This essay explores the importance of childhood memories in shaping our identities, using a personal narrative to illustrate a memorable experience. The writer effectively conveys the significance of such experiences by recounting a near-drowning incident and its impact on their beliefs. The narrative style engages the reader, providing a vivid picture of the event and its emotional implications. However, the essay could benefit from greater coherence and organization. The transitions between different aspects of the narrative are somewhat abrupt, and the introduction could be refined to better capture the reader's attention. Additionally, the connection between the central theme of childhood memories shaping identity and the specific experience recounted could be more explicitly drawn for a stronger thematic resonance.
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What can be improved
Introduction Enhancement: Refine the introduction to create a stronger hook that draws readers into the essay's central theme. Thematic Connection: Explicitly connect the near-drowning experience to the broader theme of childhood memories shaping one's identity for greater thematic coherence. Transition and Flow: Smooth out transitions between different parts of the narrative to improve the essay's overall flow and readability. Reflection and Impact: Elaborate further on how the near-drowning experience has influenced the writer's beliefs and identity, providing deeper insight into its lasting impact.
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Childhood Memory That Shaped Me as a Person. (2021, January 12). WritingBros. Retrieved November 17, 2024, from https://writingbros.com/essay-examples/childhood-memory-that-shaped-me-as-a-person/
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Childhood Memory That Shaped Me as a Person. [online]. Available at: <https://writingbros.com/essay-examples/childhood-memory-that-shaped-me-as-a-person/> [Accessed 17 Nov. 2024].
Childhood Memory That Shaped Me as a Person [Internet]. WritingBros. 2021 Jan 12 [cited 2024 Nov 17]. Available from: https://writingbros.com/essay-examples/childhood-memory-that-shaped-me-as-a-person/
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Childhood Memory That Shaped Me as a Person essay

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