The Identity of Chinese-American in Amy Tan's Fish Cheeks

Being Chinese-American often means being torn between balancing both cultures to form an identity so they feel like they fit in. Some Chinese-American might feel like they aren’t part of either Chinese or American, and others share feelings of displacement and frustration. Spiritual development lacks an exact definition according to Google but it’s to develop higher awareness or consciousness. Growing up Chinese-American can affect somebody’s spiritual development by how one may view another who see them as “different” and so they try to change themselves to feel like they belong, also, their impression of China from their relative’s old Chinese stories and family history.

In the story “Fish Cheeks” by Amy Tan, Tan fear how her family's behavior and traditions are recognized by her crush, Robert, and his family. Tan said “When I found out that my parents invited the minister’s family over for Christmas dinner, I cried” (Fish Cheeks 8). That sentence was a perfect example of how embarrassed Tan was about her culture. Tan feels that her Chinese background doesn’t FIT into American culture because her customs is something Robert and his family is not used to. Another example from Fish Cheeks, Tan says “For Christmas I prayed for this blond-haired boy, Robert, and a slim new American nose” (Fish Cheeks 8). Tan’s acceptance of herself is based on her impression of what her crush Robert thinks of her. In Tan’s mind, the slim “American nose” is more appealing to Robert than her original appearance. This has an effect on her spiritual development because Tan's ignorance of her Chinese culture was her own failure, not Robert or his family. Tan struggles to fit in, she lost sight of who she really was. Fish Cheeks by Amy Tan was a perfect example of trying to fit in can affect us because people in today's world feel that they stand out in a negative way and tend to change in response to these feelings of self-consciousness and feel embarrassment or shame.

This passage introduces the spoken tradition of storytelling to their children in another story called 'White Tigers” by Maxine Kingston, which tends to compare reality and imagination. When the narrator was told the Fa Mu Lan legend by one of her mother’s talk-stories, she was encouraged to be strong and daring. In the eye of the narrator was 'great power”. The narrator says, “At last I saw that too had been in the presence of great power, my mother talking-story… She said I would grow up a wife and a slave, but she taught me the song of the warrior woman (White Tigers 52). I suppose that the image of a woman in Chinese stories changes from a criticized slave to a powerful warrior. The narrator tries to adapt the meaning of a woman to these two versions. Also, retelling the story showed why she would want to be a warrior instead of any of the other female roles available in her Chinese-American society. This connects to the narrator’s spiritual development because this brings up the feeling of wanting to find their true identity. The narrator believes to feel weak to have to grow up to be a wife or slave. Being neither makes her feel power. She tells “When Chinese girls listened to the adult talk-story, we learned that we failed if we grew up to be but wives or slaves. We could be heroines, swords women” (White Tigers 52). The narrator is told other possibilities as a woman. Heroines and swordswomen were powerful people to her. It inspired her to want to become one just like Fa Mu Lan. This connects to spiritual development because the narrator is trying to confirm her own identity from stories that was came from China, and she never been to China.

In No Name Woman by Maxine Kingston, Chinese and American customs are questioned a lot. In the passage, the narrator starts to question “What is Chinese tradition and what is the movies?” (No Name Woman 86). The narrator can not identify what is true for Chinese culture and personal fiction. This connects to her spiritual development because The narrator rejects the idea that Chinese culture is genuine, desperately trying to separate herself from this point of view, because it would only cause confusion on the Chinese side. Also, she tells “Those of us in the first American generations have had to figure out how the invisible world the emigrants built around our childhoods fit solid America” (No Name Woman 86). Since the narrator was the first American generation in her family, she did not fully adapt the principles of being Chinese. The invisible world being Chinese standards and solid America being what she grew up knowing. This affects her spiritual development because this shows she only knew half her life story, the “American” life.

In conclusion, being Chinese-American is not easy when they feel like they are too different and can’t figure out their own identity. In the stories White Tigers, Fish Cheeks and No Name Woman, they show that being Chinese-American affects your spiritual development by how someone views another as different and the stories told by relatives that came from a world you didn’t grow up in.