Lurking In The Shadows

I walk down the vacant city street on a crisp autumn evening, but I am not alone. I am followed by someone. A man tall but skinny, dressed from head to toe in black, with skin as white as ice. I do not know who he is for his face is concealed by a black brimmed hat. I am certain he does not have a real face, but instead an evil soulless mask. This strange man follows me hour after hour following from a fair distance but watching my every move. Although he is not right beside me it as if I can feel his hot breath on my neck sending shivers down my spine. Scared I try to hide from this man. I go into shops to try and lose his tracks meet some friends and take a detour through the forest . He is still here. I run as fast as i can home sure he doesn't know where I live. But he appears in my room before I do.

No matter how hard try, I can't run away or hide from him for He always finds his way back to me. I am terrified why is this man in my room? Who is he? What does he want? I yell at him to leave and as he turns towards me i suddenly recognize him. I know who he is! The man is my mind. He is all my thoughts hopes and dreams. More specifically he is depression and anxiety. This man is not a human at all. He is a shadow of darkness inside of every person that sucks out all the joy and colours from their life and turns them to sadness and grey. There is a man in everyone's life. All different, affecting people in completely different ways. They all have one complete goal. To destroy. This man in my brain is not escapable, he affects me in my everyday life and all the people around me. He gains power from all my mistakes and eats up all my pride and accomplishment. He is me There are days i wake up and i pinch myself, praying this was all just a bad dream but then I am greeted by him. He follows closely behind me as I continue to school. Sometimes he is running after me and those are the times I am at my very worst. I am faced with constant darkness and dismay.

There is nothing around to give me strength or happiness for he has stripped all the happiness from my life and has replaced it with anger and confusion. When is he walking I am at my best. For once I am free from him. I can almost be a normal teenager. I feel on top of the world able to accomplish any task that is put in front of me. In these moments I live strong and carefree. but these moments don't last very long because he always returns just when I think he will never come back. When he jogs behind me , he is there but not as strong as usual. I still feel his weight on my shoulders making my life tough but somewhat livable.

Essentially his presence in my life will taint whatever I do or say, the anticipation of his touch and voice rips away any good I can feel. This man has an affect on me that is indescribable and I do not know how to break free from his grip on me. My own grip on myself He talks to me in a whisper, old and croaky. Every word that comes out of his mouth is a stabbing pain on my skin. His evil words are fire in my soul. He says things like you are not fixable, you're not trying hard enough, nothing matters anymore.. Every little sentence or statement he says attacks my brain destroying my self esteem. Next he strangles me, I cannot breathe. I choke on my happy memories as they pass through me. He treats me like a character controlled like a video game. I am pushed around in this world blind in the darkness from the shadow man with no control on how I can act or feel for he is the one controlling my life and I am just the follower and player in his little game .

I have learned to accept him and his ways for he is part of me now. I am my own flaw Today i wake up and it is peaceful. I look around my room waiting for him to appear at any second but he doesn't. Where is the man? Where has he gone? I bolt for the door before he can appear to stop me. As I open it, I suddenly pull out of the darkness. In the distance i see his dark figure reach for me. I kick and punch at him to fend him off I scream at the dark man and scramble to the surface of my mind. I am free I notice the bright sky, the warm sun beaming down on me, the colorful flowers and the birds chirping. i see all the happy things surround me. I startle the shadow man with the light, and he and he dissepears for a few months. But he returns right behind me way to fast. Because you cannot escape yourself.