Lack of Respect in the Modern and Digital Dating and Relationships

Dating can be a very complicated thing to some’ but an easy thing to others. Dating back then was better than dating now. Back then, dating was something that was taken very seriously. It was like an early stage of getting married. In order for men to date women, they had to first go through the parents of the women that they were wanting to talk to. Anything that the man was wanting to do with the girl he had to go through with the parents. Everything back then that was dealing with dating the parents was always involved in what their children had going on. No matter what, it was the parents was the most important person the man had to acknowledge first. Dating back then was about dating with a purpose and not just based on how the girl look, but it was because of their personality, the type of person the woman or man is, or just the way they carried themselves. Dating back then was better because technology wasn’t an issue, there was a greater sense of morality and respect was a bigger part of everyday morals.

"The concept of dating really began at the turn of the 20th century. Prior to the late early 1900s, courtship was a much more private, unemotional affair. Women would meet with several men, with her parents present, to whittle the pickings down to the most suitable match for marriage, which heavily relied on factors such as financial and social status. When a young woman decided on a man she wanted to see exclusively, their activities as a couple took place either in the household, or at social gatherings. At that time, there was no such thing as just two young lovers 'going out on a date"(Markarian).

Dating now is a big difference from dating back then. When meeting your significant other phones are being used rather than face to face. Figuerao stated "Today, we need instant gratification. If we send a text, we expect an immediate response. This was not the case 30 years ago. Many of us remember sitting by the phone, waiting for the boy that we gave our number to call (Figueroa)." This shows that back then there was no text messages being made, there was no facetime calls. Dating went from talking on the same street to talking over the whole world. "It is still hard for a man to ask a woman out because there is a possibility of rejection but I believe it was much harder before than now. Before, there was no possibility you could hide your reaction behind an email or text, you were face to face or on the phone. Now, men rarely go to your parent’s home, knock on the door, and have the dreaded meeting with your dad. It’s like we gained independence from our parents, now that we are moving out of houses sooner than before(Figueroa)." It was like an interview process that men had to go threw and they thought that they were going to get denied by either the girl or the dad that's the reason why some men wouldn't want to talk to different women.

"It’s like our morals have lessened since the days our parents dated(Figueroa)." According to Figueroa the way that she sees dating it is from when her parents were dating to the way that dating is going on now is that it is a whole different thing from when her parents were dating. As she stated "our morals have lessened" she is saying that everything that was going on when her parents were dating to now everything have changed dating is not how is was back in the day it was done the right way. Rather than now people don't care to know about how dating was back then which is a bad idea because the simple fact that it was a process in order to talk to that girl to really do anything with her. I will say that it is still hard for a man to ask a woman out because there is a possibility of rejection, but I believe it was much harder before than now. Before, there was no possibility you could hide your reaction behind an email or text, you were face to face or on the phone. Now, men barely go to your parent’s home, knock on the door, and have the dreaded meeting with your dad. It’s like we gained independence from our parents, now that we are moving out of houses sooner than before. The goals in dating have changed from finding love to whether you can get laid (Figueroa).

Dating back then there was respect done with everything. "The social rules for dating change from one generation to the next. There was a time when a proper young man and woman could not speak to each other unless they had been formally introduced. That practice seems silly now" (Neuman). Things that was done back then were okay to everyone it wasn't a problem, but the things that happened back then, that if it was to start back up now this generation would think it would be wrong. "I understand from my patients that it is considered bad manners now for young people to date someone who has previously dated one of their friends. Such a rule did not hold in my time, at least not among the people I knew" (Neuman). Dating now is a little bit easier than it was back then. Now you are able to meet people from different social media , different apps and many other ways that are more accessible. In past times there were only a few ways which made dating a little harder. " It was common, around that time, for men and women to meet at parties or at dances. The kind of dances performed then required holding each other, which puts those of us who were shy at a disadvantage. Otherwise, a fellow and a girl would be "fixed up" on a blind date by a mutual friend. Meetings in bars happened from time to time, but were considered somewhat dangerous—at least by the women" (Neuman). Back in those days before computers, or portable phones, or even electric typewriters the rules were different.

Have you ever thought about how dating has changed so much over the years? Our grandparents and parents experienced a totally different dating scene than that of which we experience today. Our elders grew up with different rules, manners, morals and they also (in my opinion) had more respect for each other. Of course we get the occasional "mishaps of dating'; there are some in every generation, but why is it that our generation has so much trouble in the "dating scene'? Some things that changed throughout the years was online dating, the amount of people we can date, who is responsible to pay for the date, location of the date. With online dating it has changed drastically over the last 10 years. Instead of looking up the number on the contact list that you got from school, now you can just add him or her on facebook or other social media platforms. "The Internet brings you to the attention of not only your cute neighbor, but also to the cute not-so-neighbor 500 miles away (the maximum radius you can set on Tinder). Meeting people from all over the world has suddenly become an option in the age of online chatting (without the cost of international calls and mail), which means dating people from all over the world as well (Zwarter)." Generally men would pay for the date even though he knows that you work and make your own money now days the bill gets split between the both of you. "If a guy doesn’t pay, it does give a bitter aftertaste to the date. Sometimes it even makes you question whether it was a date at all or just two people hanging out. Even though it’s a questionable case, it’s good to know guys realize you have your own money" (Zwarter).

Back in the days there was respect being done with everything. "Back in our elder’s teen and college days, they were taught how to speak to others with respect, with kindness, how to be a lady and how to be a gentleman. Now-a-days, we have girls/women walking around with no intentions of receiving respect from a male, or even female, figure. But how did it happen this way? Where did it all go wrong? We have become the generation of impaired social skills and one that relies strongly on social media and the virtual connection to others. There are multiple pros and cons on how social media (Tinder, Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, etc.) is affecting the current dating scenes but that’s a whole other story in itself (Cross)." In a man's eyes a woman was special to him and he treated her as a pot of gold. Even though men had 90 percent to do with the relationship the women also messed up. "Women, now, do not really "dress to impress" but they almost "dress to give away', they talk with a dirty mouth and have become more and more independent due to the lack of strong, loving men in their lives or simply just because they were raised that way. Women are starting to lose their sense of self-worth. They do not see their true power so they begin to think that they are less than what they really are." Which is a really big turn off for some men now and days.

To conclude, dating back then is way much better than dating now, if dating now was to change to how dating was going back then a lot of people would be opposed to the idea and it would be hard for the majority of the people. My personal opinion if that was to happen dating would die down and many wouldn't even worry about dating. This generation would think dating now is the best way to go because they wouldn't want to deal with parents or do it the most respectful way that it should be done.