How to Cope with Losses in Our Lives

There is no denying the fact that there will periods in your life that will experience different magnitude of losses. It might have happened at one point in your life, or you might be currently going through the phase at the moment.

One indelible fact still holds true across the board, that every single person will experience some form of grief at different junctures of their lives. People will experience loss of a friend, family or close relative, many will suffer heartbreak from broken promises, betrayal at the hands of people they once trusted, dealing with adult children having to leave the house and strike out on their own, old age and whatnot, or people showing you sides of theirs you never expected, a bank forfeiture, losing a job etc.

These are all perfectly normal lifelong occurances that sometimes give no warning before they come crashing down on you like a ton of bricks, that you barely have the time to even grapple with the reality of it all.

While these bad experience range in severity from one another, the overall effect that results from them can drive you into a deep ditch of grief and emotional turmoil that gets very overwhelming. You can find yourself in a state of normalcy one moment, by the next, you find yourself struggling to find an emotional balance.

If you are experiencing loss, and the grief from loss, you know what I mean.

The most relatable kinds of huge losses such as loss of a loved one or a divorce, can leave you in a dump pile of grief that can keep you reeling from it for many months to as much as years. Even the supposedly 'less significant' of life events, like the loss of a pet can impact our lives in debilitating ways that leave us in with much heartache.

At these juncture, we should try listing out a series of sad events that can have a profound effect on our life as follows:

• Being terminally ill
• Becoming bedridden from a terrible accident
• Being unable to engage in activities as you previously did as a result of pains and ache.
• Seeing or hearing something that suddenly reminds one of deceased friend or relative.
• Adult children needing to leave home to build their lives
• Having to move out from one location to another to start a new life.
• Having to end unproductive friendships or other forms of relationships.
• A close friend moving over to a new town or city.
• Losing a job or having to change to a new job.
• Losing your business.
• Being swindled of your money.
• The reality of dealing with old age.
• Going to a retirement home.
• Seeing one's parents go through old age and declining in health
• Losing a close pet that one has bonded with over time.
• Having to watch the last episode of favorite TV show.
• Having to let go of your dreams and aspiration in the reality it might not happen.
• Clearing out your house of unnecessary items (This happens mostly with hoarders).
• A favorite business or establishment you always patronised closing out their outfit.
• Feeling like one has no real purpose in life.
• Having to come to terms with your limitations or the imperfections of your partner.
• The need to have a faith or a belief system.

Some or all of the above listed events are familiar to many, and if you have experienced one of such, have in mind that you are not alone. In life, there will always be good and bad times, and learning how to deal with the bad sometimes, is what gives your life the balance it needs.

It can feel really lonely and scary when you are in a state of grief as it seems no one can really relate to or feel your pain. Most time, this drives you into a state of depression or lonesomeness where you even feel the need not to place your troubles on other people, so you find in a dark place of isolation. This is a misnomer common to many, as such people choose to suffer in silence without seeking help.

You won't have much success trying to conceal your emotions from others, needless to say, it doesn't even help you. Learning to open up and accept the appropriate type of help is always best way to recover from grief and move forward with your life. You can avail yourself these few steps to prepare your mind towards an effective healing process.

Learn to Find and Come to Terms with the Source of Your Pain

In life, we deal with the unthinkable. You might have lost a dear one or being through a nasty divorce. Sometimes even, you might even see yourself grieving through a state of oblivion, not really knowing where your real pain lies. At these times, you may need to search inwardly at those major changes taking shape in your own life and that of your surroundings and watch closely how they shape or affect you, and how you react to them. Pick those key 'players' that contribute to your pain and affects your mood negatively.

As soon as you have been able to identify the root, feel free to even share these experiences with people around you, letting them know how feel. When you act as though all is well, when you know deep down that that isn't the case, you set yourself up for more problems which will further drive you down a viscous spiral of reclusiveness, leading to other negative emotions such as anxiety or depression.

Let go of Yourself and Mourn

At this point, you might become overwhelmed with emotion that you will feel tears filling up your eyes. Please don't hesistate to let yourself go. Shed those tears as much as you need to. Crying is a healthy channel through which our bodies release built up tension, frustration and stress.

As a matter of fact, crying helps to release from the body toxic hormones that contribute to stress.

Grievers who deliberately bottle up their emotions and hold back tears are indirectly harming themselves, as over time, there is an accumulation of harmful toxins and stress agents that go on to affect the immune defense system against anti-bodies. To avoid all of these, let yourself loose and cry as much as the body requires or dictates.

Share Your Experience with Someone

While some choose to conceal their grief from others, it is healthy practice to find someone to talk to and share those feeling with. This is where a support group comes into play.

Sharing your experience in a therapy session or help group has a profound effect on how we move past our grief.

What a support group offers you is the opportunity to open up and share experiences that would have been otherwise too difficult to share with close family members or friends. The platform subjugates the place of familiarity and acts a mediator through which feelings are expressed without fear and bias.

There are many support groups around offered by large hospice oufits to NGO and NPOs. Some are free, while some might require a fee. Work well within your budget and join any of them that suits your specific needs.

Don't be Hard on Yourself(Pamper Yourself)

As one goes through a period of grief, motivation and drive is greatly diminished. You see yourself loosing energy to do those things you once enjoyed. Loss of drive is often accompanied by anxiety disorder, depression, severe aches, and so on. People tend to ignore these signs and instead force themselves to keep up with routine tasks.

This is not very healthy practice. What you should do at such times is to take some time off the hustle and bustle of your daily life and opt rather, for more relaxing activities like taking a walk, visiting the spa, seeing a movie or enjoying some good music.

In a state of grief, some people are tempted to turn towards prescription drugs and alcohol, which only serves to exassipate their condition when the effects of such wears off. Stay around people, engage in delightful conservation and try to remain hopeful.

Remain Grateful

There are so many other things we could always be thankful for despite what might have gone wrong in our lives. Always be reminiscent of such and such. In any event we have a hard time recollecting highpoints in our lives, you can try jotting them down just as they come to our minds. This way we keep the loving memories of loved ones in our past alive.

Some times, even a nasty or divorce can cast a dark cloud over our lives, forcing us to resent our ex-partners and regret having been in the relationship. Instead of engaging in a feat of apathy and hate, fill those gaps up with memories of the good times you shared with such a person. It also helps to focus on the blessings and gifts you derived from the relationship for example are the children which were products of the union. This way, you will see were it wasn't entirely a loss, then channel all that anger and hate into love for family.

The pain that comes with grief can no doubt transform our lives in many ways, that might cause us to be ungrateful for the many blessings we already have set before us. By choosing to pay close attention to them, we ignite in us a spirit of hope and purpose as we move past our trying times.

Exercise Patience

When you grief, let yourself bask in process. Don't try to force yourself out of it, this will only cause you more damage and pain. It is said that when you beat yourself up for grieving for long, you become prejudiced to the entire process. And for someone who is already emotionallu unstable, that is like a sitting on a ticking time bomb. You could explode uncontrollable.

Don't rush yourself, exercise patience, walk through the process and embrace every single emotion as they come. As you know, grieving is a process. Depending on the cause of your grief and loss, you may go through a variety of stages before you finally work through it. Feelings are temporary, and as they say 'time heals all wounds.' So be patient.