Gender Norms And Stereotypes In Modern Society

My life would be different if my gender was different. Being a boy, I would have the freedom to voice my own opinion, I would be looked upon as a strong, independent leader. I wouldn’t be expected to cook for people, It would be normal for me to pick careers like engineering or becoming a doctor. I would not be expected to stay at home and look after the family; However, being a boy, there would still be some gender norms that would be expected from me.

No matter which gender you are, gender norms will always be there, or at least for the next many years to come. I would be expected to earn for the family and I would be expected to manage all the finances. If, as a boy, I liked more “feminine” things and colors, or if I wanted to dress differently from the normal “Male dressing”, I would be looked down upon and judged by the society. This would again lead to suppressing my feelings and opinions the same way. I would get bullied on for not following the “gender norms”.

Dr. A. Zell explained in her lecture on September 28, 2018, that the females can get away with choosing an occupation they like (although there are still limits to this, as working somewhere which requires physical strength, the society will judge you), like the color “blue” or dressing like a boy, i.e, a tomboy, but if a guy likes the color pink, chooses a more feminine occupation or wears dresses or skirts, this wouldn’t be acceptable by majority of the societies in today’s world. Even if the people would not show their feelings and judgments, they would still find it weird and it would be hard for them to accept it. Hence, as I boy, if I were deviating from the gender norms, I would get more bullied on in comparison to a female deviating from the norms. In a country like Pakistan, women are expected to be dressed “decently” they are expected to wear their traditional clothes, I was a girl, always went against these gender norms to try to show my society that we should have the freedom to do and wear what we like. By taking Computer Science and Natural Sciences in high school, I have tried to show the people, in my circle, that women can pursue whatever dream career they like. I have interned at Toyota Motors and have learned the mechanics of a car. I have been working with an NGO called “Bondh-e-shams” which requires personal strength and toughness; however, even with all of this, I sometimes feel like no matter how non-stereotypical I think of myself, as the video suggested, if I see a newborn wrapped in pink clothes, I would consider it a girl. If the baby is wrapped in blue clothes I would consider it a boy. I got my baby cousin Barbie dolls for her birthday. If the same baby were a boy, I would’ve, possibly, given the baby toy cars or remote controlled toys. No matter how open-minded I consider myself to be, I still found it usual, even if I accept it, to see a girl, named Harnaam Kaur, an Instagram model who grew a beard to go against the gender norms. Every time I would see my dad help around with the household or the kitchen, I would applaud him as if it were an achievement.

While writing this essay in a cafe, “Coffee and Bagel”, I got up to use the restrooms. One of the doors had a poster with a flower sunhat and a pearl necklace (No faces, just the 2 things printed together) and the other had a mustache and a bowler hat. Without thinking for a second, I immediately went to the one with the poster that had the pearl necklace and a flower hat. This can also be considered as stereotyping. No matter how non-stereotypical a person may think of themselves, they still believe in some gender norms (Intentionally or unintentionally).

I think a strong woman would be thriving on their own independence, she will be intense but at the same time polite and respectful when needed. She would be emotionally stable and would value her relationships. She would know the value of herself and would have self-esteem. Strong men would also have the same characteristics. In my ideal world, strong women and strong men would have the same characteristics, because if not then that is a way of implying gender norms again. In my ideal world, both would equal, strong, capable of being independent and would have the ability to support themselves, would have the same wage and would have the freedom to choose the occupation they enjoy, whether or not it requires physical strength. If I have a child, I would make sure he/she knows that it is okay to go against gender norms. I would make sure they don’t suppress themselves in order to hide their true personality and their interests even if it goes against the society’s gender norms. I would tell them that gender norms will exist no matter what, and would tell them that they may get criticized at first for being different if they are, but sooner or later, the society will start accepting them. I would tell them that people will expect them to act a certain way and dress a certain way but they don’t always have to come up to people’s expectations. I would also teach them about gender equality because one person’s thinking can contribute to diminishing gender roles. When they are young, I would expose them to toys made for both genders. I would get them involved in skills and activities that are associated with each gender. I would point out sexist stuff on media which may have an effect on their thinking and would explain why it is wrong. If they are being sexist at some point, I would intervene and correct them so they have respectful views on each gender. I would teach them that women do not have to be the way gender norms want them to be and the same goes for men. I will also teach them to speak up if they hear something sexist. Overall, I would be a good role model for my child so they are as open-minded as they can be.