Establishment of a Child as a Human Being with the Help of Grandparents

Can children form meaningful social relations and good character traits with the help of their grandparents? Mother knows best, but yes, there is nothing like a grandmother or grandfather's touch to help mold the character of tots. It may depend largely on the type of grandparent the child has. There are the physically frail grandpas and grandmas, and there are the vigorous ones. While many grandparents may be less able to provide physical care and also less receptive to new parenting approaches, their words of wisdom may echo many years after. Grandparents have been upping their significance ante the past years. Across the world, their role is valued a lot, probably more than a generation ago. It may be because babyboomers who have watched their health are now the grandparents, and are robust than ever, not to mention available. Ot it could be because the rising incidence of separated parents and single parenthood have fuelled family changes.

Love, Actually

In her very recent book, “Nanaville: Adventures in Grandparenting,” Pulitzer Prize-winning author Anna Quindlen matter-of-factly states that most grandparents may be pushed slightly to the perimeter, but one thing many grandmothers and/or grandfathers have in common is the “undemanding love” they have for their grandkids. As the book noted, most grandparents have the tendency to watch over their grandchildren in raptorlike manner, yet those who want to keep the harmony strive not to overstep boundaries, if there are. Nonetheless, at the end of the day, there are many things a strong-willed grandma and/or grandpa -- with so much love to give -- can bring to the table, apart from delicious goodies.

For one, they have endless stories to share. A television program depicting this in animal form is Baby TV’s kid-friendly offering show featuring the young inquisitive creature MJ and grandma engaging young viewers with stories and facts. There are countless interesting picture books as well in the market today focusing on tykes with their grandparents. Some examples are 'My Grandparents Love Me' by Claire Freedman, with illustration by Judi Abbot; and 'Grandma Loves You Because You're You' by Liza Baker.

Grandmothers have long been put on a pedestal for being a positive, caring presence at certain stages in their grandchildren’s lives. In her book, Lo Que Mi Abuela Me Dijo (What My Grandmother Told Me), Maria Paz Eleizegui Weir shared many interesting dichos, or proverbs, ingrained in her while living with her grandmother when she hovered between the ages of three and 12 years. Some examples of the proverbs featured in the book, most of which spiced up daily conversations in her grandmother’s household, included “Duty first, pleasure later,” “Don’t spit at the sky or it may land on your face,” “Better to be alone than in poor company,” “Not everything that shines is gold,” plus many others.

The Intangibles

Among the greatest gifts grandparents can give to the children they love is to make it possible for them to hold on to intangible things long after they have departed-- the warmth of grandma’s embrace, strolls in the park with grandparents, with the feel of sunlight on a granddaughter’s cheeks, grandpa’s strong, firm grip and guidance, and grandma’s soothing words. A clear-cut illustration of a selfless act of a grandparent is Swedish grandfather Patricio Galvez’s untiring efforts to get his late daughter’s seven young orphaned children out of Syria, and to brace for the big challenge of raising them. Galvez had to act fast as the kids’ state of health was deteriorating while in a refugee camp. Love in its purest form is definitely one of the things a doting grandparent can give her kid’s own children. Most moms and dads may call it `spoiling’ but grandmas or grandpas know better. The love that is showered on grandkids translates to many other advantages, like resilience later on in life.

Here is one interesting insight presented in a paper on “21st century grandparents: global perspectives on changing roles and consequences” co-authored by Ann Buchanan from the Department of Social Policy and Intervention in University of Oxford, and Anna Rotkirch from the Population Research Institute in Finland. The involvement of a grandparent in the lives of her next of kin, particularly the grandchildren, has been linked to improved mental health, improved resilience and pro-social behaviour in grandchildren, the paper conveyed. The findings were published in the 2018 issue of the journal, Contemporary Social Science. The impact of a grandparent establishing a presence or playing an active role in grandchildren’s lives does not end in contributing to their mental health, but also to their emotional and spiritual well-being. There are lots of reference materials nowadays for creative grandparenting and making the connection with grandkids, but whatever the level of participation or role a grandparent chooses -- be it as a caring family member, an occasional teacher, a shining light or spiritual rock, all it may take are instinct and real concern to really leave a mark.